Louisa Simmonds

WOW! All that hard work, anxiety, and pill popping finally paid off cos I got me a Blogger Award from Narcissistadtotme.wordpress.com. And although I realise that my writing should give me all the fulfillment and sense of achievement I need, I am pathetically human, (with an above average level of neediness), and damn it feels good to know that someone out there in Blogland thinks that what I’m doing is OK.

As they say on Oscar night, there’s nothing more special than receiving an award from ‘the industry’. 

But this award does come with terms and conditions, the first of which is to write seven interesting things about myself. Technically, to expose myself.

Which proved interestingly quite difficult.

The thing is, that when I started thinking about my seven ‘interesting things’, (and to be honest, it’s taken a while), I realised that they dovetailed quite nicely with the ‘seven deadly sins‘, probably because fundamentally I’m really not that ‘nice’, or ‘interesting’, for that matter.

So all my plans to impress through my writing diversity, and release my inner sentimentality; to post my first ‘from the heart’, inspirational post, a kind of Terms of Endearment (without the cancer) piece, fell by the wayside. I’ve said it before and I obviously need to remind myself again, I need to leave that inspirational sh*t well alone, because whenever I attempt to write about ‘feelings’, I end up feeling as fake as Pamela Anderson’s breast implants.

So here is my collection of ‘un-interesting’ sins things:

1. Greed: I really don’t want much out of life, EXCEPT…. that my children find happiness in whatever route they take, find love and are loved. I’m also hoping that the old man will put up with me until he’s decrepit enough physically not to stray, and senile enough not to realize that I’m spending all our money on the stuff he described as ‘wasteful’ during our marriage. Oh, and in an ideal world, I would very much like my still virtual book to be published.
2. Wrath: I get really offended when people don’t get my humour because I think I’m hilariously funny, even though I’ve probably only met 4 or 5 people in my entire life who would agree; luckily one is the old man and one is my daughter. My acerbic, filter-less humour has won me few friends and lost me a bunch, but in my defense, I am clearly misunderstood.
3. Sloth: I would love to lie and say that if I won the lottery, I would dedicate my life to starving children in Africa The truth is, I would probably just send the money via a charity, because I’m fundamentally extremely lazy. I would live by the beach, spend shitloads of time and money drinking ridiculously expensive Chardonnay and eating foie-gras and truffles and all those other posh foods that are overpriced and you don’t know why, with family and friends, and think a lot about what I should be doing. I’d sleep a lot too. Any spurt of energy would be reserved for dragging myself to the pool.
4. Envy: I get really bitter and twisted when I read the awesome posts created by other, be-atchingly better bloggers, because I want to be able to ponder and inspire and make people laugh like that too. There are so many talented and outrageously funny people out there and sometimes I truly wonder why I waste my time, when it would be far easier to fritter my life away letting my brain vaporize in front of Big Brother. But I write to release and vent all of that cynicism and poison generated by peri-menopause.
5. Lust: I lust after anyone who makes me laugh no matter how fugly they are. Having said that, I could compromise my ideals if Chris Hemsworth didn’t make me laugh out loud, immediately.
6. Pride: My biggest fault but I’m too proud to discuss it.
7. Gluttony: Apparently gluttony is not considered as dangerous as pride. So as I’m f*cked anyway with the whole pride issue, I’ll carry on eating and drinking to excess.

The second condition of this award is to award some awesomely talented bloggers who have inspired me and made me ooh and ahh with green-faced envy and hate them a little bit more every day.

And my winners are:

Narcissisista Me (WordPress)

The Good Greatsby (WordPress)

Life And Other Crises

The Bloggess

The News With Nipples (WordPress)

The Curtain Raiser (WordPress)

Badhostess

Jensinewall (WordPress)

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