Louisa Simmonds

So Scarlett Johansson is the sexiest woman alive, according to Esquire Magazine!

For the second time.

I can only assume that my nominations got lost in translation.

Scarlett Johansson met with nearly 600 service members at Camp Buehring, Kuwait Jan. 20 during her five-day United Service Organizations (USO) tour to the Gulf region. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s an interesting choice that says a lot about how we really define ‘sexiness;’ as well as being a pleasing choice from the female perspective.

Because while obviously Johansson is indeed scratch-her-eyes-out beautiful, she doesn’t necessarily fit the image of ‘perfection’ that the media leads us to believe men search for in a woman.

Scarlett doesn’t have a supermodel stick insect frame, she is comparatively short compared to some of her Amazonian contemporaries and although she does have a generous bosom, it is slightly out of proportion with the rest of her body.

But there is no denying that she is ‘sexy,’ (sigh).

Perhaps that’s why we all like Scarlett – because of her imperfections.

As a woman she certainly possesses that combination of physical attributes that when melded together create sex appeal. But Scarlett is not sexually threatening like some actresses, and she has not really allowed herself to be objectified. Like Marilyn Monroe and Ursula Andress, for example, Scarlett does not have the perfectly chiseled features of a Cindy Crawford or Claudia Schiffer, yet she remains defiantly sexy. Therein lies her secret.

If I was going to have my bucket list lesbian moment, it would definitely be with Scarlett Johansson.

Assembled together with her talent and personality, her slightly imperfect physique and her confidence to even be seen without make-up, the Scarlett package is still something human, approachable, un-contrived yet overtly sexual.

Which only goes to proves that passion, intelligence and personality are the true marks of ‘hotness’.

Propaganda about body image from the media and the issues that ensue from it sometimes prevent us women from understanding where real beauty comes from and distorts the truth about what women and men really find attractive in the opposite sex.

The old man informed me that the two criteria he finds most sexy in a woman are face and humour. (He could of enlightened me before, of course – so that instead of busting a gut to try and maintain an acceptable weight for the past twenty-five years, I could in fact have indulged in all those forbidden pies I craved and been happy in my skin like Dawn French or Rebel Wilson).

When I asked NC’s new man how he defined ‘sexiness’ in women, (apart from their knowledge of rocks, obviously), he came up with the ‘girl-next-door’ type.

It might take men a while to get there, ladies, but it’s reassuring to know that eventually they understand that sexiness is more than a fake chest and a g string.

How many times have we heard that we look better when confident? Maybe we should try believing it.

NB (Nerd Boy) suggested Mila Kunis and Emma Stone as his pin-ups – neither are the obvious ‘sirens’ we are told that men fall for.

It turns out that many of the truly beautiful things in life are naturally eclectic and less contrived. Think of landscapes, fashion or interior decoration. The appeal of the ‘vintage’ and retro looks has a lot more to do with having the balls to mix things up than striving for perfect co-ordination.

Beauty comes from freedom, choice, confidence and ultimately happiness.

Our mothers always told us that beauty came from within, so why didn’t we believe them?

Don’t you just hate fucking hindsight, sometimes?

And what makes Scarlett Johansson even sexier is that she hasn’t resorted to playing the Hollywood game to get noticed and find success. Her celebrity has come primarily from innate talent. Of course her natural good looks help, but she doesn’t play the beauty card – she has remained true to herself – an intelligent young actress with a passion for her craft.

We know that beauty helps in life, but ultimately its value fades. For longevity, Scarlet needs much more than big lips and boobs, and she knows it.

Think about your own friends. Who are the really attractive ones? So often it turns out not to be the ‘pretties’ but the women or men who radiate their beauty from within and usurp them.

Sadly, for a lot of us women that knowledge is something we only accept once we reach middle-age and invisibility kicks in – when we are forced to let our inner beauty do the talking.

But we all have the power. We can all be as sexy as Scarlett Johansson.

Related articles

1. Scarlett Johansson: Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive 2013! (justjared.com)

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