Louisa Simmonds

two sides to every story (Photo credit: Norma Desmond)

Just when you think there might be a measure of sympathy out there for parents who struggle day to day with ‘different’ kids, another ‘crazy’ in the US goes out on a killing spree, citing women as his problem.

And now everyone thinks that all kids on the Spectrum are psychopathic nutters who could easily go out and mercilessly kill in retribution because they felt a bit hard-done by.

And at a time when awareness for these kids was finally improving, in spite of Abbott’s cutbacks.

I’ve said it before (and I’ll bore you again), but I HATE the way the media twists and spins the news without knowing all the facts. I may be the only one out there who thinks this, but I’m pissed off that this kid cited misogyny as his reason to kill too.

Because now the focus of the story is on the misogyny aspect and so the feminists have got on their high horses and are overshadowing what may be the real, underlying reasons that led this boy to act in the heinous way he did. They are also taking the focus off the victims.

Surely this story has to run a little deeper than a guy with a problem with women. Not that misogyny isn’t a dangerous problem – because, yes, misogynists abuse and kill women. But I’m certain that this case can’t simply be about a privileged boy who suffered rejection from women or felt entitled.

People seem to need to rally behind a cause these days and this guy has riled everyone. There’s the gun lobbyists in one corner and the feminists in the other. 

Could we just take some time to think about the victims first, who weren’t just women, and take the focus off the perpetrator?

Admittedly, I’m no different. Whenever I see some crazy act like this boy perpetrated or read about those kids who massacre their peers in high schools, I want to find an excuse for their evil, whether I look to mental health issues or nurture.

I don’t want to believe that the world is really that fucked up.

And sometimes I think I may be guilty of doing the same thing with my own son. Do I make excuses for him when what he really needs sometimes is a dose of Victorian parenting like the media suggests?

Because although I may joke about his behavior on this blog, often it’s not actually that funny.

And I’ve experienced those feelings of fear that all parents feel at times when their kid does something irresponsible, dangerous, highly anti-social even.

A little too often.

That fear that you may be raising a bit of a monster. Not on a par with the Elliott Rodgers or the Kevins of this world, but if you’re lucky enough to be the parent of a child without a mental condition or disorder you can’t understand the sadness at not being able to instil your basic human principles within your child, of empathy, integrity and morality.

It’s frightening when you can’t trust your own child to make the right moral decisions.

Elliott Rodger could have paid for sex if it was a problem. Let’s be honest – he had money, he had contacts and he lived in California. That kid was more likely to have remained a virgin because there was something odd about him, that worried women.

Because kids on the Spectrum don’t fit in with their peers –  they are often verbally constrained, anti-social, un-empathetic and immature for their age.

But being on the Spectrum does not make you a killer and neither does owning a flash car or designer sunglasses. Life is not that simple. We are always trying to resolve these cases and fit them into a single pocket of blame, but they’re complicated. Invariably there are many factors at play.

There are usually two sides to every story.

#ElliottRodger #California #UnitedStates #Parent #Misogyny #MentalHealth #Spreekiller