I know you hate me talking about sex, but here’s a bit of frivolity for the weekend…
- ‘Remind me where the dog goes?’
- ‘But it’s after 9 O’clock!’
3.‘I’ve got this new pair of support knickers you’re gonna love…’
4.The problem with peri-menopause is that you just never know when your period’s gonna turn up…’
5.‘I knew those pulses and beans were a bad idea…’
6.‘If you need Viagra tonight, that’s absolutely fine…’
7.‘Okay if I just lie here and watch the gymnastics while you get on with it?’
8. ‘And I was about to give you full control of the remote all evening…’
9.‘I think I pulled my vagina at the gym…’
10.‘Bit hairy I know, but I forgot we were out of winter…’
11.‘Let’s do some role-play. You’re Poldark reaping corn…
12. ‘That sounds like the kids…’
13.‘I’m pretty sure I can’t get pregnant any more…’
14.‘Or we could watch a western, action-packed Netflix series with lots of car chases and gratuitous violence?’
15. ‘Do I really have to take my yoga pants off…’
16. ‘Five minutes is long enough, isn’t it?’
#excuses #middleage #tired #Humor #Sex #Relationships
Louisa Simmonds 
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