Who Stopped Halloween?

To say that Halloween was a bit of a let down this evening would be an understatement.

We’ve been deprived of the middle-aged enjoyment of watching other people’s kids behave appallingly under the influence of sugar over these past few years because we lived in the apartment, and a crazy part of me had missed the revolting-ness of it.

I have such great memories of Halloween with my own kids. NOT.

I even bought some fake cobwebbery and plastic spiders from the two-dollar shop to lure the innocents to our house, (already the grimmest in the street), but it seems that it’s so ugly the kids were too terrified to venture down our cracked, broken steps.

I’m mainly disappointed because I came up with this fab idea for preventing last year’s demonstration of the disparity of manners between the greedy kids and the rest of them. It turns out that the big universal bowl of lollies that kids dip their hands into freely managed to unwittingly shame every parent whose child grabbed more than four lollies, so this time I carefully filled pretty, small muffin cases with an assortment of sugar – the perfect size for little hands.

But only two pairs of little hands knocked on my door and earned their lollies, and I feel cheated of that trip down memory lane to the world of little people. Added to which, all those snakes and jelly beans in my stomach are laughing now at the immense weight loss I made at the pool today.

I’ve been swamped by images of Halloween cup cakes, masks, fancy dress and party ideas for weeks on Facebook and now feel like the only one who didn’t go to the party.It’s not like it would be appropriate for me to go to the local park and hand out lollies to the little people there as a consolation.

I can’t think where this broodiness has come from because I’m a million miles away from looking forward to the next generation of little people in our house. If truth be told, I’m hoping that Kurt puts his career first.

But how come the whole sordid, brainwashing commercialism of this Celtic festival didn’t reach our street? Or did Malcolm stop that as well?

#Halloween #festival #children #Humor #Parenting

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