Louisa Simmonds

1. Panty liners and wet wipes – for when you sneeze, cough, laugh or have to jump on a trampoline to pretend you like little kids (and trampolines) at a family kid’s party.
2. Thick foundation – to cover those break-outs of middle-aged acne or Rosacea triggered by all that intense red wine drinking exercise you’ve done recently.

1. A timer – to make sure you don’t digress from your daily routine of a) pajamas by 3pm b) wine by 5pm, and c) bed by 9pm.
2. Earplugs – so you can’t hear him when he begs for sex, mansplains or wants a money conversation.
3. Aldi trolley coin – because one day… they will bring their Churros back.
4. A backpacker’s expanding travel towel -for hot flushes.
5. Spanx – in case you bump into another soulmate.
6. Tweezers – for those rogue hairs that sprout when you’re away from home and are nurtured by office lighting.
7. A pacifier – to remind you that life isn’t that bad.
8. Snacks – for those hunger emergencies in between snacks.
9. A hip flask – for your morning gin.
10. A mini fan – because…menopause.
11. Perfume – because you might be invisible, but you can still knock them dead with your scent.
12. Condom – because you just never know
13. Valium – In case there’s nowhere to buy coffee.

What have I missed?

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