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The Secret To Getting Through Monday
Sir Bob’s words, “Tell me why, I don’t like Mondays’, were the first words to assault my mind yesterday. A sign. Not good. I rolled heavily out of bed and slithered into a mass of hormonal dourness on the floor. Music has that ability to capture those special moments. Some days just start badly, particularly…
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Midlife Mayhem: Can Yoga Help Me Find My ‘Core’?
I went to yoga for the third time in my ‘spiritual life’ yesterday. I’d like to say it was to focus on my inner tranquility, but my motives were purely egocentric. My lower back ache has now transcended to a stage 2, ‘transition-intense’ labour pain, (in spite of keeping my chiropractor in business), so desperate measures are…
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Midlife Mayhem – Who Knew The Dog Was Multi-Lingual
At some point in our ‘playful’ abuse of the dog this week – I think we were once again testing her intelligence by throwing a blanket over her head and seeing how quickly she could shake it off – we realized that she is multi-lingual. It was while attempting to converse in Franglais with my…
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Midlife Mayhem – The Sexiness Of ‘Salmon Fishing’
In conjunction with my recent post about following your dreams, I stumbled upon this quasi-perfect little gem of a Brit flick the other day, and so decided to brazenly write a film review about it. I am completely aware of my zero credibility as a film critic but allow me to indulge myself and promote a movie that…
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Midlife Mayhem – Ageing Gracefully Like Helen Mirren
I never realised how hard it would be to age gracefully and work it like Helen Mirren. Who knew that overnight, those dormant grey hair follicles would take up arms and spring into life, more wiry and stubborn than my existing lifeless locks, and with no real hope of ever fitting in; unlike Helen’s. And…
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Midlife Mayhem – I Want To Be A Rockstar
Remember those exploratory mind games you used to play with your kids when they were about five years old, when, with some careful prodding, they confided in you what they wanted to be when they (finally) ‘grew up’? You were of course holding out for ‘doctor’, or ‘accountant’ at a push, so when they said…
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Midlife Mayhem – Am I A Hypochondriac Or Just Getting Old?
The subject matter of good dinner party chitchat has found a disturbing niche, now that we’ve hit our forties. Although ‘life was supposed to begin’ at this stage of our lives, we seem to be stuck at the ‘recognition of our own mortality’ roadblock far earlier than we anticipated. Whereas in my twenties we used…
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Midlife Mayhem – Fake Parenting
I am the ‘fraud’ parent at my daughter’s Parent Evening. While my seventeen-year-old has acquired a fake ID to get intoxicated, I often question my true ID as a responsible parent. A lot of us are guilty of ‘winging’ this whole nurturing lark. We’ve had to. The dissolution of the ‘extended family‘ has forced us…
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The Definition of Lazy
Now I would never classify myself as a lazy person, but when it comes to mundane domestic chores, I will be the first to admit that I always look for ways to cut corners. Gardening falls into that category, as one of those mind-numbingly dull jobs that leaves me completely cold, and in the past…
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Midlife Mayhem – Margaritas Should Carry A Health Warning
Was it the drinking goggles or age-related brain cell depletion that made me think that I could swill frozen Margaritas, served in glasses the size of goldfish bowls, without consequence? I’m certain I only had two, but eyewitnesses swear it was three. All I remember is that by 11pm, time began to stand still and…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 