Tag: middleaged
-
5 Brilliant TV Series For The Discerning Middle-Aged Couple
The old man and I watch a lot of detective series together. It’s the only genre that hits the sweet spot for both of us. For him, there are car chases, guns, and psychopaths – although, sadly no dragons – and for me, there is typically a decent representation of female characters – albeit, few of…
-
A Postmortem Of Twenty-Five Years Of Marriage
As we hurtle towards our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary – celebrations and condolences for which are still under negotiation – it seems to me that the timing couldn’t be more perfect for a postmortem of our relationship. I’ll be honest with you, as the product of divorced parents, I never expected our marriage to last, and…
-
What To Watch Next? The Viewing Dilemma Faced By Every Middle-Aged Couple
As the final episode of series 3 of The Wire reached its conclusion last night (and if I’m honest, we were no clearer about what the fuck happened during its twelve episodes), the old man and I reached another crisis of epic proportions in our marriage. What to watch next? Because what to watch on…
-
Help! I Had A Sex Dream About Malcolm Turnbull
I had a sex dream about our Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull the other night, which was particularly disappointing having forked out twenty dollars that afternoon to ogle see Chris Hemsworth in the latest Thor movie. For those of my international readers who don’t follow Australian politics religiously, and haven’t a clue what an understated sex…
-
The Link Between Insomnia In Middle Age And The Boomerang Generation
Biologically-speaking, there is a proven link between sleep problems, peri-menopause, and menopause. It has something to do with the dying noises created by your ovaries, dreams, and looks as they wither, and a lot to do with how much you hate the person sleeping next to you. However, my own research lists other contributing factors,…
-
How Much Do You Drink?
That’s the question that makes you cross your legs in shame in middle-age, similar in awkwardness to when the doctor used to ask you how much you smoked or how often you have sex, or (more pertinent these days) when was your last mammogram? Fact: every smoker lies. The ‘walk of shame’ these days is…
-
Fairly Standard Share House Behavior
We suspected that the old-fashioned water tank in the new house might prove a problem. With two twenty-somethings that think that fifteen-minute long showers are normal because they are used to a water-on-demand system, it was never going to be an easy task to educate them in the consideration of others. You’re welcome! I’ve decided…
-
Things I’m Too Old For – Music Gigs
This post is the first in a new series called “Things I’m Too Old for;” an idea I came up with the other night when we went into the city to watch a gig roughly two nights before we moved house – cos that’s what you do when you’re about to experience one of the…
-
Eyebrow Problems In Middle Age
I went through another of those middle-aged duty calls in order to meet the aesthetic expectations placed upon womankind the other day – the utter onerousness of a waxing session. I shouldn’t grumble really, hair-care it is the only beauty treatment I pay for to meet society’s expectations of beauty so that I don’t terrify…
-
When Are You Too Old To Ski?
It might surprise you to know that we are skiing this week – an interesting choice of holiday for two middle-aged people with anxiety with the physical flexibility of two brick walls. I doubled my medication as a precaution. To be honest, I don’t know what the fuck we think we’re doing, either – skiing…
-
Who Knew That There IS Actually A Link Between Iron And Energy?
So it turns out that you actually need iron in your body, whereas I always thought that iron was naturally in your blood – one of those minerals that you didn’t really have to worry about apart from during pregnancy, because it had no real function like your appendix, and your clitoris, according to the…
-
Is It Middle-Aged Women That Are Invisible, Or Just Women In General?
There have been a couple of incidences lately that have got my tits in a twist about how invisible women become after the age of fifty – unless we go around waving a banner that says ‘Look at me, I’m here.’ Is It Middle-Aged Women That Are Invisible, Or Just Women In General? Sadly, it…