Category: Home
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Why I’ll Never Be A Good Cook
I always won the ‘progress’ prize at school – never the ‘outrageously gifted’ or abundance of academic and sports prizes that the beautiful head girl with the double-barrelled name won – the girl that all of us boarders had a secret crush on, because she was not only gifted, but surprisingly nice. No, mine was…
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14 Ways To Achieve Fuck All On A Rainy Day
You might have gathered from the news that it’s been raining kangaroos and funnel web spiders here in Australia over the past few days. There’s this giant myth around the rest of the world that it’s sunny all year around here, and if you live in states of the country fortunate to have crocs and…
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Family: You Can Run But You Can’t Hide
From what I understand, one of the few benefits of divorce is that you occasionally get a break from the kids. One of the benefits of migration is that you get to keep the day-to-day responsibilities of being part of a dysfunctional family at arms length. Family and ‘home’ In spite of the logistics, my…
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When Your Parent Abandons You
The other day NC was telling us about her plans for the next seven months or so while she has a gap between her degree and her Masters. More accurately, she gave us an outline of how her plans away from home will improve her continued personal growth trajectory. Yes, that’s definitely igneous… The old…
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It Takes A Village To Raise A Child…I Hope
Some people believe it takes a village to raise a child; in our case it will probably take a whole fucking city.The lengths you go to, to prevent your dysfunctional, magnet-attracting-trouble teenager, from creating havoc while you’re away. When Louisa Clare shared a post from Revolution From Home entitled In The Absence Of The Village,…
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The Male Short Term Memory Issue: A Valid Reason To Nag
You’ll be aware by now that I’m a fervent believer in gender equality and the old man and I have heated discussions on the subject most weeks over a bottle or three of wine. And the one area in our discussions where he really gets to me is when he argues that because women don’t…
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The Concept Of ‘Home’, And Moving On Versus Staying Put
I popped back to the suburb we used to live in up until a couple of years ago, last Monday, to catch up with a friend. Whenever I go back there, (and it’s often, as most of our close friends still live there), I experience those same feelings of self-doubt that I feel when I…
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Do You Ever Stop Worrying About Your Children?
In the week that NC has achieved another milestone by passing her driving test, Kurt’s dangerous enthusiasm for life has escalated to a new hair-greying level. A text with ‘I’m all G’ doesn’t quite cut it at ten o’clock the morning after a sleepless work night spent waiting for the reassuring sound of your teenager’s…
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Marriage And The Need To Shop Underground
One of the unfortunate byproducts of being married to an accountant is that sometimes you have to resort to going underground to shop or shopping with cash, because they’re so fucking tight. At the moment, I spend many of my nights hidden under the covers with my torch light as I research the perfect set of dining…
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Entitled Gen Y And ‘No Dinner For Me, Thanks!’
It’s such a relief to reach Friday night and know that it’s take-out tonight. We’re going through this stage with Kurt and NC at the moment, as they transition between wanting to live at home and us wanting them to fly the nest, where we’re never quite sure how many we’re cooking for. All we…
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Valentines Night With The FailArmy
One of Kurt’s greatest pleasures in life, apart from winding me up, is watching FailArmy videos on YouTube. These are videos of those idiots (usually men) that derive pleasure from doing wacky, dangerous stunts, the insanity of which more (often than not), land them in sticky situations, if not hospital. Typical stunts might include jumping…
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How Much Is Too Much At Christmas?
There’s been a lot of talk in the media this week about how much we should spend on our kids at Christmas, after a women in the UK made headline news for ‘pressie-bragging’. Decorated Christmas tree on white background It’s a tricky topic and one that is bound to make those of us who indulge…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 