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Christmas In The Sun
A few days before Christmas I couldn’t decide whether the sparkle of the festivities had begun to dim with age. It’s not like they don’t go as hard here in Australia, it’s just different to what I’m used to and so takes a little longer to get the Christmas juices flowing. In spite of being…
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When Will I Feel Grown Up Enough To Wear Grown-Up Clothes?
I know you’re probably thinking that this post is a replica of the one I wrote when I went through the trauma of finding a dress for my dad’s wedding earlier this year, but a second verbal vent is required after my most recent experience of trying to dress this sad, old middle-aged body. When…
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Being Grateful
With a natural propensity for anxiety and a daily irrationality caused by the hormonal imbalances of middle age, I know that most of the time I am bad about feeling grateful and creating my own happiness. I might be appalled by the images coming out of Aleppo, but sadly, they don’t stop me from moaning…
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Retirement: Sea Change Or No Change
It feels like we’ve been planning our retirement our whole lives, yet now as we inch closer to our target, the old man and I have realised that the dreams we shared in our early years together may have changed. I thought that my aspirations would centre around little more than long lunches at the…
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‘Tis The Season Of The Family Holiday
It’s that character-building time of the year when all those carefully thwarted irritations caused by living with people you didn’t choose to live with, are thrown squarely into the spotlight on the family holiday. Why I insist on instilling this week of hell bonding I have no idea, but I get sentimental after I watch…
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12 Things I Do That Give My Age Away
There is a dichotomy to the way our personality changes as we mature. On the one hand, I don’t give a fuck about things I used to stress about – such as my appearance and toxic friends – and on the other hand, stuff that used to seem trivial can wind me up like a…
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Suicide, And Making Men Understand That They Don’t Have To Be Heroes
It seems a million shades of wrong to be preparing for Christmas drinks when a week or so ago another family lost their son, in his early twenties, to suicide. I cannot imagine their ongoing suffering as I worry about whether we’ll run out of wine or if I’ll poison everyone with my Thai chicken…
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Keeping Your Eyes Open In Middle Age
I decided recently that with my advancing years it was time to embrace some culture before it’s too late. Photo courtesy of the Opera House and Australian Ballet For someone who believes herself to be creative in so many ways, I have always struggled with the level of intellectualism required to interpret the different art…
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Can We Say Goodbye To 2016 Now?
I won’t point to anything in particular – Trump, Bowie, Brexit – but there must be few among us that will look back on 2016 as a great year. Since boatpoo-gate a few weeks ago, NC says I’ve just been unlucky. You see, you could honestly not meet a more stupidly honest person than me,…
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This Time Last Year My Son Should Have Been Sitting His HSC
Don’t worry, I’m not torturing myself with this fact, but this post is one that I’ve wanted to write for a long time about my son. It’s similar in vein to the piece Jenny Lawson, “The Bloggess”, wrote on election day in the US – It’s Going To Be Okay. It’s about holding onto the…
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Whatever Floats Off Your Boat
Like many people I suspect, whenever I’m under pressure to perform or create an impression, I fuck up badly. Last weekend we were invited onto the boat of some of the old man’s work friends. For normal people, the idea of jet-setting around on a yacht in the clear, emerald-green waters of the Hawkesbury on…
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When Your Kids Selfishly Decide To Become Vegetarian
For the third time in her short life, NC has decided to give up meat and become a pescatarian. She is an environmental vegetarian which is apparently the practice of vegetarianism or veganism based on the indications that animal production, particularly by intensive farming, is environmentally unsustainable. Industrialised agriculture contributes on a “massive scale” to global warming, air pollution,…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 