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Kevin, The Middle-Aged, Grumpy Old Man
I don’t know how many of you remember British comic, Harry Enfield’s character ‘Kevin, The Teenager’, but the old man appears to be metamorphosing daily into the middle-aged version. It seems that although we gain some invaluable wisdom with the ageing process, there is a danger of regressing to the petulant obstinacy of a teenager…
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Living Each Day And Surviving Every Parent’s Worst Nightmare
The most annoying thing about being the mother of a rebellious eighteen-year old is that you can’t always ensure they go out in their best underwear. That was one of the things that went through my mind on Thursday as we wove our way through city traffic to every parent’s worst nightmare… After the call…to say…
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Susan Sarandon’s Lovely Lady Lumps
Shock! Horror! A woman ‘over a certain age’ dared to brazenly display her cleavage in public. Apparently, this is far more controversial news than ISIL’s latest terrorism threats, because it’s not even like Susan Sarandon is some cheap B List celebrity that needs the publicity. Liberated mammaries are usually celebrated. They usually serve the purpose…
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Older, But Still No Wiser When It Comes To Drinking
What I’d seriously like to know is when exactly the middle-aged wisdom/acceptance thingy that my body can no longer drink alcohol is going to finally kick in. I’d also like to know if I can justifiably lay the full weight of blame for our behaviour firmly on the shoulders of our hosts yesterday, for contributing…
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Remember The School Gates? Getting Old Isn’t All Bad
A friend recently wrote to me about how old she feels each time she passes the primary school our children attended and sees all the young, hip mums hanging outside the school gates. Being a mum in the playground is personally one of my least favourite periods of parenthood to reminisce about; post-traumatic memories of…
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Do You Ever Feel Really Alone?
I’ve been sleeping better recently, in spite of the dastardly Sydney humidity at this time of the year – I suppose it’s one small positive to be had out of the daily bleakness associated with giving up caffeine. But the other night something woke me up at 3.30am. You know that feeling, when your eyes…
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When You Can’t Be Fucked To Cook Quinoa…Keep It Simple
I giggled evilly behind my laptop screen last night as I listened to the old man have a domestic melt down in the kitchen over cooking. Apparently, he finds cooking stressful. I’ve already got that tee-shirt, so felt little empathy. Admittedly, we’re not the easiest family to plan meals for. I’m always on the latest…
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Mental Illness: Crazy, Bad or Misunderstood
How did you spend your Sunday afternoon? I spent mine mine devouring a riveting series that I missed on the ABC last year about a mental health hospital in Sydney. That’s just the kind fun person I am. But what’s interesting, is where once the subject of mental illness was a taboo one, locked firmly…
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Shooting From Both Ends And Not Taking life For Granted
In a week that has seen the sad and untimely deaths of two British entertainment legends, I’m still here. But only just – I’ve been holed-up in bed for the past few days, sick and feeling very sorry for myself. two toilet paper rolls on brown wooden background I rarely get genuinely sick, so I’d…
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A New Year Of Parenting
And so another year of parenting has come around to challenge and age us prematurely. For those with ickle children, I hate to burst your bubble but nothing changes in the worrying stakes as your children get older. Just another reason it felt so fucking awesome to see that even Madonna can’t get parenting right. …
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The Reality Of Those Damned Middle-Aged Fitness Resolutions
We’ve reached the end of the first week of January, so I wondered how everyone’s doing with their fitness resolutions? Or are you, like me, surreptitiously gorging on carbs and quaffing wine when no-one’s looking? I’ve been walking/jogging for the past ten days. I say ‘jogging’, but my pace is actually somewhere between a fast…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 