Category: Motherhood
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Royal Baby #3
I like to think that I am a good person, but fundamentally, I must be a bitch, (as well as a hypocrite if you look at my last post about women supporting women), because I can’t help feeling a tad jealous about the way Kate squeezed out another heir, seemingly without a perfectly-coiffed, soft-curled hair out…
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The Awkward-Scale For Teenage Boys When Shopping With Mom
I went shopping with my teenage son yesterday, whereupon he bestowed upon me one of the greatest honors of my parenting life when he told me that I was (and I quote) ‘a nightmare to be seen in public with.’ ‘Oh, and these ten packs of condoms and tube of lube for my son over…
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The Sins Of The Mothers
In view of Mothers Day in the UK yesterday, I thought I’d tell you about a funny little conversation I had with my son last week. For those of you with younger kids, be warned that like me you will reach a point with your almost-adult kids – usually at the end of seven years…
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Why Every Parent Needs To Watch Lady Bird
Described by Empire as ‘A coming-of-age story like no other, Lady Bird is smart, emotional, funny and completely original. Rarely has a directorial debut been so assured, so singular and so heartwarmingly affecting,’ the movie Lady Bird has been critically acclaimed worldwide, and as a sucker for any movie that offers the secret to parenting, it…
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Why Won’t Our Kids Let Us Mold Them Into Who We Want Them To Be?
“You will find as your children grow up that as a rule, your children are a bitter disappointment – their greatest object being to do precisely what their parents do not wish and have anxiously tried to prevent.” “Often when children have been less watched and less taken care of – the better they turn…
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The Prodigal Daughter Is Not Coming Home For Australia Day, She’s Coming To See Us
The prodigal daughter returns this weekend for the first time since she left the nest. While she assures me that she won’t be celebrating Australia Day for political reasons, I’ll believe that when she turns down the special bottle of Champers I’ve bought for tomorrow. Although I only saw her a few days ago, it…
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15 Of The Worst Parts About “Adulting”
No one warned us about “adulting”, did they? When I used to come home from uni to find Post-Its stuck around the house with messages in capitals like ‘put your shoes away’ or ‘put the lid on the toothpaste’, I thought my dad was anal – or just old – and that when he wasn’t…
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And On The Topic Of Self-love And Acceptance…
And while I’m on the topic of self-love and acceptance… Cue kaftan, joss sticks and Hare Krishna chanting… That trip to the movies symbolized the start of a new chapter for me this week – a chapter I like to call “thinking about myself for a fucking change” – not to be confused with the…
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Motherhood, Togetherness, Warts and All
I’m not proud of the fact that I was so hung-over on Mothers Day that I was on diet soda for my celebratory lunch with my kids. I could blame the friends we had lunch with the day before – a lunch that turned into dinner – although, in our defense, the whole idea of lunch…
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The Perils Of Letting Your Kids Go
Life definitely gets easier as your children grow up. You get to sleep again, go out again, enjoy free time again, but letting them go also has its drawbacks. When you release them from the nest and the clutches of your taloned feet, it means that they are free to make their own decisions, and sadly,…
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Graduation Photo Smugness and The Sacrifice of Parenting
The big day came and went last Friday when NC graduated from her university with her degree in Advanced Science. Three years of hard work for her and eighteen years of hard work for us culminated in an hour-long ceremony. The Dean reminded his graduates to go and do what they feel passionate about –…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 