Category: Women
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Home Alone After You’re Married And Eating Chocolate In Bed
Obviously I adore my husband, but… http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/120398635 After thirty years crammed together in the marital womb, I quite like it when he goes away for a few days, leaving me to play. Even with the teens bouncing off the walls, the sudden appearance of their teenage mates who take up permanent residence on the couch…
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Those Sneaky Holiday Calories
Why can’t the hips lie, just for once? I’ve developed a distinct waddle to my gait since my holiday. I can only put it down to those sneaky holiday calories that have surreptitiously relocated to my hips whilst I was busy ‘holidaying.’ Ok world, I’m ready… Bring it on! by Troy Snow on Flickr When…
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When Will I Be Middle-Aged Enough To Want To Go On A Cruise?
Don’t get me wrong, I discover more and more great things about being middle-aged, every day. Cruise Ship Reflections by Marinell Turnage at http://www.flickr.com Not having to worry about being judged on my looks is the best thing ever, and being able to roam my local streets looking like a bag lady when I go for…
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Middle-Aged Anxiety And Saunas
It seems that anxiety is my best friend, even when I try to relax. Sauna by Xeasa at http://www.flickr.com The good news about living in the block is that apart from the bitch upstairs who vents her menopausal wrath on my little Princess, we have some super deluxe sports facilities that we pretend to use.…
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I Got Me A Free Boob Job
Of sorts. Originally from Buzzfeed. Found on http://www.pinterest.com It’s probably not what you’re thinking because I’m not brave enough to go down the surgery route and under the knife. And even if I was, there are SO many other areas that I’d re-sculpt before my boobs. Anyway, I’ve always thought that young, pert boobs on…
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Pulling Off The Beach-Babe Look In Middle Age
Photos sourced from Pinterest.com.au Very few of us can pull off even a full-piece like Pamela Anderson. And ladies, unfortunately, it’s getting closer to that time of year. As the temperatures finally begins to rise and the Uggs and winter coats are discarded, (along with those binge-eating excuses of ‘because it’s cold’), it’s almost time…
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Have Your Dreams Changed Now That You’re Middle-Aged?
(WARNING: Complete Waffle Alert) Yes and No. Let me tell you why. English: Sweet dreams dreaming of snowhite and the seven dwarves – painting by Franz Schrotzberg (Photo credit: Wikipedia) One of my first dreams, (aside from marrying Donny Osmond or Prince Charles), was to become a cook. I was queen of the cheese scone, Macaroni…
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The Healing Power of Barbra
I had a spectacularly AWFUL day at work yesterday. It was one of those days where relief only came from curling up in a ball under the doona with the heating on, chocolate, the dog and several bottles of wine. English: Screenshot of Barbra Streisand from the trailer for the film Hello, Dolly! (Photo credit:…
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The Middle Aged Beauty Regime And Nipple Covers
Magnum PI by brandy-son Zen master flash at http://www.flickr.com I learnt about nipple covers yesterday. They are Band-Aids that you stick on your nipples when you have to go bra-less. In the old days we used to let our nipples come out to play with us. Beauty products fascinate me almost as much as yesterday’s…
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I’ve Never Been Very Good At The Whole Friendship Thing.
Far too long ago, my virtual friend and blogger, Michelle Weaver from Pinky Poinker nominated me for a blogging award. To fulfil the award I needed to tell my readers several things about myself that they might not know already. I’m pretty candid on this blog so most of you know most of my sordid…
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Confessions Of The Worst Housewife
It’s been a hellish week at work so I’ve tried that strategy I used to use on the kids when they were toddlers, of ‘ignore them and they might just go away’, but the overflowing laundry basket is particularly persistent at drawing attention to itself and refuses to play ball – which makes me THE…
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Joan Rivers Proved That Women Can ‘Have It All’
“When I die, I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 