LOUISA SIMMONDS

LOUISA SIMMONDS

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  • Gardening in Australia, AKA Dancing With Death

    With forty-eight hours and thirty minutes to go, no, I’m not the teeniest bit nervous about the arrival of the rellies for Christmas. While one half of me can’t wait to wrap myself up in dad’s arms again and beg him to take me home to let me be a child again, the other half…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    December 18, 2017
    Ageing, Australia, humor, Lifestyle, middle age, Midlife Observations, retirement
    gardening, middleage, spider, weeding
  • Prioritizing Your Fucks This Christmas

    Don’t get me wrong, I BLOODY LOVE CHRISTMAS, but there are certain seasonal chores necessary for its success that have lost their appeal over time. I give you: Making your own mince pies, pudding, gravy, stuffing or bread sauce Cooking a whole turkey, as opposed to a super-processed crown from the supermarket where the birds…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    December 13, 2017
    Ageing, Family, Holidays, humor, Lifestyle, middle age, Midlife Observations
    fucks, gifts, giftwrapping
  • I’ll Even Miss Her Drinking My Wine. Maybe.

    Its been a long and exhausting week since child number-one finally decided to leave the nest a few weeks before Christmas. In fact, it has been so completely crazy helicoptering over the move, there’s been very little time to consider the emotional ramifications. While my daughter is a bright little cookie with a very practical, logical…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    December 11, 2017
    empty-nesting, Family, humor, Midlife Observations, Parenting, Teenagers
    emptynesting, leavinghome, movinghouse
  • The Naughty List And Outsourcing Parenting At Christmas

    Anyway, according to my hairdresser, who planted the grapevine and is obviously the fount of all knowledge around here, there are now several Christmas apps where parents/kids can connect with Santa before Christmas. You input all your kid’s information into your phone – nickname, age, shoe size etc – so that Facebook nets all their personal…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    December 5, 2017
    Family, Holidays, humor, mental health, Midlife Observations, Parenting
    children, kids, naughtylist, outsourcing
  • How To Dress The Christmas Tree Without Losing Your Sanity First

    One piece of advice I will be eternally grateful to my mother for is ‘don’t take life too seriously,’ and I have been forced to live by this approach each year as I dress the Christmas Tree.  Because…kids. And it has very nearly killed me. Every year I think that this will be the year…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    December 1, 2017
    Family, Holidays, Home, humor, Midlife Observations, millenials
    decoratingthetree, holidayseason, sanity
  • Heghan – There’s Something About Harry

    I failed miserably to maintain the cynicism of my Royal Grinchness as I watched the Harry/Meghan engagement interview yesterday, although it is irritating how difficult it is to turn their names into some catchy moniker such as Kimye or Brangelina, which is why I’ve decided on Heghan.  My apologies – I’ve used this phot before.…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 28, 2017
    Family, happiness, humor, london, love, Marriage, Midlife Observations, Romance
    engagement, love
  • Turns out that aqua aerobics is really f

    Turns out that aqua aerobics is really fun! http://ow.ly/LLGJ30gLiPx

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 23, 2017
    Midlife Observations
  • What do you get an older man who has eve

    What do you get an older man who has everything and expensive tastes for Christmas? Budget $50.

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 22, 2017
    Midlife Observations
  • Aqua Aerobics: Welcome To The Middle-Aged Club Of Fitness

    Firstly, I believe that this is an appropriate opportunity for me to issue a formal apology to those women that do aqua-aerobics, that I may have slighted in the past with a secret snigger of immaturity as I swaggered past them, head held high, towards the fast lane of the pool. Because yesterday, I joined…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 22, 2017
    Ageing, body image, exercise, fitness, happiness, Health, humor, middle age, Midlife Observations, Women
    aquaaerobics, exercise, fitness, middleagedwomen
  • What Do You Do When Your Daughter Rejects The Most Sacrosanct Of Family Christmas Traditions?

    There has been a rollercoaster of changes in our house recently, all of which are interfering with the slow and steady build up to Christmas and my preparations that I pride myself on each year. That’s the thing about this stage of parenting – one minute you’re stumbling along in a fug of wet-towel-on-the-floor acceptance,…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 20, 2017
    Family, Holidays, Home, humor, Midlife Observations, millenials
    gifts, Holidays, tradition
  • The Proudest Achievement Of The Modern World Should Be How We Break Down The Walls Of Inequality

    If ever there was a period of time where it’s possible to believe that genuinely bad people do exist, it is probably right now. With daily mass shootings in the US, terrorist bombings all over the world, the ongoing abuse of women and the surge of a far-right movement – it is hard not to…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 15, 2017
    Australia, culture, equal rights, Feminism, Health, Marriage, mental health, Midlife Observations
    difference, equalrights, inequality, samesexmarriage
  • Not Exactly Leaving The Nest…But Close

    I drove NC to the airport at stupid o’clock this morning. They might not have flown the nest quite yet, but it turns out we have two budding explorers in the family, and from the perspective of two parents that rarely leave the house these days, I see their recent adventures as a reaffirmation that…

    My Midlife Mayhem

    November 13, 2017
    ADHD, empty-nesting, Family, Holidays, humor, Midlife Observations, Parenting, Teenagers, travel
    emptynesting, explorers, travel
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