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Middle Aged Clothes-Shopping Hell
Ahead of my birthday celebrations last weekend, I foolishly chose to waste a whole hour of my remaining lifetime on The Iconic, when I could have been catching up on The Bachelor and drooling over Matty J’s ass with NC. Needless, to say I drew a blank. Now I’m not going to bag the Iconic…
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The Continuing Saga Of Co-Habiting With Young Adults
I would like to be able to blame Menopause for my recent bouts of insomnia but it is becoming increasingly obvious that my lack of sleep has more to do with the nightly comings and goings in our frat house and the entitlement of our young adults than my hormones. I get it. I know…
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When Are You Too Old To Ski?
It might surprise you to know that we are skiing this week – an interesting choice of holiday for two middle-aged people with anxiety with the physical flexibility of two brick walls. I doubled my medication as a precaution. To be honest, I don’t know what the fuck we think we’re doing, either – skiing…
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Empty Nesting: I Know I Will Miss Them, But Will I…Really?
As we approach freedom the next stage of parenting with mounting trepidation, I do question whether I’m ready. I adore both my kids and I will miss those rare moments of family harmony when the four of us sit around the table, laughing and joking together and I can almost forgive them for drinking my…
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My Seven Secrets To A Lasting Marriage
Apparently, marriage is back in fashion and as it was our anniversary yesterday – hence, that time of the year where I selflessly dedicate twenty-four hours of my time to be nice to my husband in return for a slap-up meal – I’ve decided to share the reasons behind our unmitigated happiness and unbridled passion.…
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Bumbling My Way Through My First Dating Site
It is perhaps a sign of my increasing immaturity that one of the most exciting things I’ve done recently was to scroll through “Bumble” with my daughter. I still feel slightly miffed that I missed out on a way to date without having to leave the house. For those of you unfamiliar with Bumble, it…
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Who Knew That There IS Actually A Link Between Iron And Energy?
So it turns out that you actually need iron in your body, whereas I always thought that iron was naturally in your blood – one of those minerals that you didn’t really have to worry about apart from during pregnancy, because it had no real function like your appendix, and your clitoris, according to the…
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What’s The Secret To Being Organized?
It’s Monday, which means compiling my new “to do” list for the week – one that I suspect will contain the exact same number of tasks on it by the end of the day as it has this morning. Would you, like me, prefer to have your labia pierced than do admin? Last week,…
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And The Race Is On For That Medical Marijuana Script
Health concerns continue to dominate the conversation with friends, now evolving at a faster pace than our hatred for world leaders and terrorists. Where ten years ago all we had to grumble about were minor twinges, joint soreness and forgetting the odd name, nowadays we talk about cancer, blood pressure and how often we forget…
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When Your Millennial Wants A Birthday “Gathering”
Kurt is having a birthday “gathering” this evening, to celebrate his exit from the second decade of his life, and as we hurtle into his third with unbridled excitement and anticipation. This has been a particularly long stage in (our lives) his development and you might sense the resignation/fear, or hope in my voice when I say…
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Time to Tear Down Mia Freedman
I needed to write this piece in defense of Mia Freedman of Mamamia, because she has been an inspiration for my own writing. Whatever her detractors accuse her of in connection to the debacle yesterday with Roxane Gay, I refuse to accept that her intentions in her approach to their interview were anything but respectful…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 