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The Best 28 Reasons To Leave Town When Teenage Boys Are On School Holidays
1.It will rain. 2.Because it will rain, the lingering smell of boy germs will be impossible to eradicate because teenage boys don’t process the word ‘deodorant’. Occasionally, this odour is diluted by what you swear is the smell of illicit smoking from out of their bedroom window. 3.First trip to the ER – when son’s…
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Dysfunctional Versus Flat-line Relationships
I’ve just completed the whirlwind first season of ‘Love’ on Netflix, written by Judd Apatow who produces ‘Girls’ with Lena Durham. I am drawn to the modern genre of television shows that depict the full range of dysfunctional relationships experienced by ‘normal’, flawed characters that we can all identify with. Unlike reality television contestants, whose…
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Shopping, Friendship and Embracing Your New Middle Aged Body
I am usually a lone shopper. I take my shopping habit very seriously and can quite easily waste an entire Saturday trying out new styles that I would never actually buy in a million years. I enjoy the beauty and creativity behind beautiful clothes, fabrics and home accessories – I like looking at them, touching…
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Do You Ever Stop Worrying About Your Children?
In the week that NC has achieved another milestone by passing her driving test, Kurt’s dangerous enthusiasm for life has escalated to a new hair-greying level. A text with ‘I’m all G’ doesn’t quite cut it at ten o’clock the morning after a sleepless work night spent waiting for the reassuring sound of your teenager’s…
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Marriage And The Need To Shop Underground
One of the unfortunate byproducts of being married to an accountant is that sometimes you have to resort to going underground to shop or shopping with cash, because they’re so fucking tight. At the moment, I spend many of my nights hidden under the covers with my torch light as I research the perfect set of dining…
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Entitled Gen Y And ‘No Dinner For Me, Thanks!’
It’s such a relief to reach Friday night and know that it’s take-out tonight. We’re going through this stage with Kurt and NC at the moment, as they transition between wanting to live at home and us wanting them to fly the nest, where we’re never quite sure how many we’re cooking for. All we…
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Alcohol: Time To Farewell A Dear, Old Friend?
I’m feeling old today; certainly older than I should feel at fifty, although my kids may argue with that. I look at the recent family photos we took at Easter and although I understand that we women of a certain age never like how we appear under the scrutiny of the lens, the cost of…
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Friendship, And How Twenty Minutes Can Be A Lifeline
This was going to be a post about how I’ve finally found my doctor, which is a big deal in my life because I’m a bit of a messed up, menopausal, hypochondriacally-challenged shell of the former woman I was most some of the time. So finding a great doctor almost feels like I’ve won the…
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12 Awful Things I Don’t Miss About Having A Child At School
The first term of the academic year is winding to a close, fortunately in tandem with the time the kids start to become really feral from the intense pressure of having to concentrate for a whole ten weeks. And I imagine that while some mums are dreading the next two weeks of holiday, some will…
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The Courage To Be Different
Wine Club was as messy on Saturday as a girlfriend predicted. What’s a girl to do when faced with the challenge of an esky overflowing with the best Chardonnays? Such shockingly poor self-discipline determined that Sunday would be a write-off, a day for recovery, when I could lament my poor choices, suffering liver and middle-aged…
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6 Obvious Ways To Prevent You Becoming Another Middle-Aged Divorce Statistic
One of the problems the old man and I have faced over the past few months since he started working from home, is that because we see each other physically all the fucking time, we think that’s enough input into our relationship, and our effort levels have dwindled. I admit it…we take each other for granted.…
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I Don’t Want To Be So Middle-Aged, I Have To Manage My Money
I’m certain that the old man and I can’t be the only middle-aged couple in the universe to argue about money. The question of what to spend your money on can put pressure on the strongest relationships at this stage of your life, when you have no idea how long you’re budgeting for, when you…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 