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Jen Aniston’s New Haircut
I went to the hairdressers to get Jen Aniston’s new haircut today. Unlike the majority of women, going to the hairdresser’s is not a favourite pastime of mine. Firstly, it involves me leaving the house and secondly, having to make small talk with someone I don’t know, nor particularly want to know, is not what…
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How Would You Score In Your Performance Review As A Mother?
Picture found on babble.com It seemed appropriate on Mothers Day for me to agree to a performance review done by the teens. I admit that I felt quietly confident. The hastily scribbled Mother’s Day note, the late and drooping petrol station flowers and the child who didn’t turn up until mid-afternoon on my special day had…
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How To Raise The Perfect Child And Genuinely Celebrate Mothers Day
Something extraordinarily momentous is going to happen on my blog today. Something that doesn’t happen very often, so prepare yourselves. Mr Benn The Pirate (Photo credit: a11sus) This post is going to be a HAPPY post. If Mr Benn can do it (Pom joke), so can I. So today I am choosing to be Pharell…
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School Parents Evening and The Wine Drip
Outside Guy’s Hospital (Photo credit: guy.p) On the good side, the inhabitants of Maggot City are obviously in the process of re-strategizing and haven’t sent any more special envoys into the battlefield that is my pantry. Perhaps they haven’t noticed that I killed a core member of their flying squad yet? Their timing is uncharacteristically…
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Airing Your Dirty Laundry In Public
Dirty Laundry (Photo credit: johnhenryf) It may surprise you to know that I hate airing my dirty laundry in public. Sure, I write a blog, but I try to be careful about how much I really give away and I generally make only close family members my sacrificial lambs. There are some skeletons in my…
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Mother Love And Taking Revenge On Your Teenagers
Sometimes God smiles down on us. Sometimes, during this life sentence they call parenting, we parents are given a tantalizing reprieve – a few precious moments to exact some revenge on our little monsters. I love my children and I certainly don’t begrudge them the interminable sacrifices I have been forced to make over the…
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I Don’t Give A Fuck About Packer’s Street Brawl!
The misrepresentation of the news is seriously pissing me off at the moment. Grumpy Cat (Photo credit: Scott Beale) You can call me Middle-Aged Grumpy Cat if you want, because if the shoe fits, that’s fine with me. But does the news seem more depressing these days or is it just that with social media…
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Do You Let Your ADHD Teenager Fail?
Kurt turns seventeen in a month’s time. There was a time when I couldn’t believe how quickly he was growing up, but the last year has moved intolerably slowly at times. As many of you know, we survived a tumultuous year with our ADHD son last year. If the word ‘teenager’ makes you shudder, then…
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Winter Blues and Being As Cold As Balls
I fucking hate winter. Winter boots (Photo credit: ohlittleheart) If I had the choice I’d hibernate for the next four months, but then I know that my family would perish. I’ve always hated the cold, and as for snow, it’s definitely over-rated. And it’s certainly not possible to look attractive in winter. In the same…
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Teenage Friendships and The Role Of Food
Jonny Wilkinson (Toulon) penalty kick in the Heieneken Cup (Photo credit: Sum_of_Marc) Kurt has had a best friend for a while now. He got to know him at the performing arts school he started at last year, just before the unfortunate series of events that led to the gaping hole in his classroom wall which…
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Marriage And The Art Of Conversation
It is a Tuesday night and a middle-aged couple loll in a semi-vegetative state on the sofa in front of a gripping episode of Downton Abbey. Half-eaten plates of re-heated Thai dinner lie on the floor. The wine bottle is empty. Mature couple sitting on sofa, portrait. By Firstindy at http://www.flickr.com The dog, more commonly known…
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Feeling Clucky In Middle Age
My sister is pregnant at the moment. Mother’s Love (Photo credit: Fabio Trifoni) When I first received the news and the very special photo of ‘the bump’ that arrived in my inbox, and is soon to evolve into a new niece or nephew, they had a peculiar effect on me. One that I wasn’t expecting.…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 