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Got Me A Beautiful Blogger Award
WOW! All that hard work, anxiety, and pill popping finally paid off cos I got me a Blogger Award from Narcissistadtotme.wordpress.com. And although I realise that my writing should give me all the fulfillment and sense of achievement I need, I am pathetically human, (with an above average level of neediness), and damn it feels good…
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The Long Way Down With ADHD
If I hear one more rendition of the theme music to Long Way Down, I’m going to gouge my eyeballs out with an ice-cream scoop as a form of pain relief. What can I say? It is the latest hyperfocus of my ADHD son. In my previous life, I used to enjoy a not- entirely- innocent, (bordering…
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Shoplifting at Tiffany’s
They allowed me back through the doors of Tiffany yesterday. I was understandably a little nervous about going back, after the last time; even though it had all been a simple misunderstanding. I could probably blame the old man again, for being the catalyst. Sometimes it’s convenient having someone to blame for my shockingly bad…
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Middle-Aged Girl Crush
Remember that ‘lightbulb’ moment I described, two or three posts ago, the one about not having to spend time with people who are as interesting as watching paint dry, once you’re middle-aged and cantankerous courageous enough to know better? I still stand by that principle, but where I’ve come a little unstuck recently, is the…
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Perving On Surfers
Spring is finally in the air and those nubile, Ripcurled surfers, with their washboard stomachs and tantalizing wetsuits, (that leave as much to the imagination as the one-pieces sprayed on to the Olympic rowers), have thankfully returned to our street en route to the beach. It makes every extra dollar of that premium we pay for housing…
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Divorce Monopoly
This post could turn out to be that ‘kiss of death’ post, regarding the equilibrium of my marriage, spookily akin to when celebrities stupidly naively decide to elaborately celebrate their whole three months of togetherness, (in which time they’ve become engaged, pushed out two children and given them ridiculous names), by posing on the front cover of…
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Trimming The Bush (Of Friendship)
There comes a moment in every girl’s life where the necessity arises to trim her bush. I am, of course, alluding to pruning the tree of friendship. ‘Trimming’ only becomes possible once you gain the wisdom, the life experience, (and bloody mindedness that makes you do something that irrational without truly considering the consequences),…
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You Don’t Have To Be Dita To Look Good In Vintage
To the delight of the old man’s ever-tightening pockets, I’ve recently become a bit of a ‘Vintage’ whore in my fashion choices. Fashion hasn’t been high on my list of priorities recently, and living in the hinterlands of Sydney (and not getting out much), I’ve been able to indulge my laid-back/grunge attitude towards style. ‘Dressing up’ here,…
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I Bet Tiger Woods Doesn’t Need A Retirement Plan
We’re determined not to slum it in our retirement. When you marry an accountant, you save to the grave. And when one of those spanking new, schmick, over 55 apartments goes up in our neighbourhood, the old man and I start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs. We’ve been saving for our retirement our whole life.…
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Eating To Live
While on the subject of eating too many cupcakes, I thought I’d tell you about the old man’s dietary habits. His idea of a fancy lunch is having an apple pie with his Double Cheeseburger Meal. This is a man who eats to live. It never ceases to amaze me how he survives the torturously…
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Ten Things You Should Never Tell Your Kids (Revised)
Woman’s Day have set the cat among the pigeons with their insightful comments regarding how we should be talking to our kids. I’m a huge advocate of ingesting the generous source of great parenting advice available on the Internet, especially as a wannabe ‘perfect parent’. However. Ten Things You Should Never Tell Your Kids This is…
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Too Much Junk In The Trunk
It’s killing me to admit it, but I’ve now got too much ‘junk in my trunk’ to wear surf fashion. My unwilling bodily metamorphosis into middle age is cramping my enjoyment of retail therapy in a big way. I’ve lost the ability to recognise what looks good on this new bulkier frame that my hormones…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 