Category: Women
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What Do You Buy For Your Best Friend’s 50th Birthday?
I never really got the hang of how to be a good girl friend. Found on everylastdetailblog.com I’m not trying to make excuses, but what a lot of my girl friends don’t realize is that I’m actually a male in the guise of a woman and I have a very black and white approach to…
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Day 5 Of Sobriety
It turns out that I’m not an alcoholic like the old man said; or only an amateur one, anyway. I reached day 5 of sobriety today. I had intended to go right through the next two weeks without a wine, but you know how it is… Stuff…work…life…and WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WHEN I OBVIOUSLY…
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A Christmas Carol For Middle-Aged Women
Ready to play? Natasha Pantelyat Real middle aged woman!!! Found on Pinterest.com Fill your muffin tops with Bolly, Fa La La La La, La La, La La, Tis the season to be jolly, Fa La La La La, La La, La La. Buy your online Christmas dresses, Fa La La La, La La La, La…
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Compression and Putting Your Children First At Christmas
Photo by Maria Mandanas at http://www.flickr.com The definition of compression is the action or state of being squished down or made smaller or more pressed together. When a pile of material is squished together and made smaller and more dense,, this is an example of compression. Compression is when you reach fifty and realise that…
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Middle Aged Style Secrets: 6 Awesome Ways To Cultivate Your Inner Bag Lady
I’m rarely in a position to brag about my middle-aged style choices but I really hit the bullseye on the middle-aged bag lady target this morning, when I had to race like a crazy woman into my son’s school to hand in the latest overdue form and payment for his excursion today. You see, I…
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Blowing The Budget At Christmas
The biggest bonus about doing your Christmas shopping online is being able to sneak in extra personal purchases, so when you’re being tortured by the in-house financial Gestapo about over-spending, you can fob them off as presents. stock-photo-close-up-woman-s-hands-holding-a-credit-card-and-using-computer-keyboard-for-online-shopping-140850265 As you are aware, I am unfortunately married to Tightus Pocketus, and so during our VERY LONG…
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And Do YOU Have A Life, Like Your Husband?
Controversial, I know, but would there have been as much media interest if Phillip Hughes had been a woman, my daughter asked me in the car this morning? ‘Harsh’, I responded, secretly proud of her inner feminist sensitivities. http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/176640394 Being the complete cricket ignoramus that I am, I’m ashamed to admit that I’d never heard…
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Forgive Me, Lord, For I Have Bought White Slacks
Don’t judge me, but this week I succumbed to my first pair of comfortable white slacks, complete with elasticated waistband for reassuring, yet gentle muffin top control, airy bagginess in the thigh area and tapered bottoms – which are obviously just a feeble attempt by the designer to make them look slightly less ‘Nana’. A…
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Healthy, Snacking Energy Balls For Tired, Middle-Aged Women
Okay, so I know they look like something the dog deposited in retribution for not getting a walk, but energy balls taste infinitely better than they look. I decided to go all Jamie Oliver yesterday and made some energy balls in an attempt to steer Kurt clear of energy drinks and plastic cereal and to…
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Too Middle-Aged For Trout Pouts And Cold Sores
New week, new outlook and new clients, I thought innocently on Monday morning. NEW FUCKING COLD SORE! Herpes labialis (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Is there anything as damaging to what self-esteem you have left than a fresh, newly- hatched cold sore on a Monday morning? I’m not vain (much), but I’m sure that most people still…
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The Anxiety Beast In Middle Age
I’m tired. English: An anxious person (Photo credit: Wikipedia) I know that feeling is justified as we approach the end of another year, and in particular the end of the school year, and the fatigue is further compounded by the shops that are already taunting us with Christmas trees and tacky Christmas carols. (Which, quite…
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Renee’s New Face And What Our Reaction Says About Women
English: Renee Zellweger in Miss Potter Premiere 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) I too am guilty of judging Renee Zellweger when I first saw those shots of her ‘new’ face splashed across my Facebook homepage. Shocked at first, I admit to then experiencing a secret, guilty pleasure that the sweet and natural face of Bridget Jones…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 