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Fear of Ageing and How I Wish I’d Started Walking Years Ago
I apologise sincerely for neglecting you this past week, although I did warn you that I was about the enter a period of life-sucking demands from the day job, and it’s only today that I’ve managed to raise my head above water again. So I’m finally squeezing out a post so you don’t forget about…
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When You Have To Deal With Shark Month, Stress And Work, All At The Same Time
Don’t you just hate it when your real job gets in the way of what you really want to do with your life? My day job has been woefully demanding of my time over the past few weeks, which has meant that not only has my writing/parenting/viewing of ‘I’m A Celebrity’ suffered, but my stress…
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Can I Body-Shame All Middle Aged Men Who Wear Speedos?
There is this bizarre conspiracy in Australia where middle-aged men, no matter what the size of their girth or tackle, believe they can wear Speedos in public and remain beyond reproach. Middle-aged women on the other hand, are demonised if they dare squeeze their middle-aged frames into a bikini. I might question the style and…
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The True Test Of Parenting Is Unconditional Love
We had an impromptu visit last night from one of Kurt’s friends. This boy’s last impromptu visit was on Christmas Day, and this impromptu visit was to apologise for it. This friend of Kurt’s is a bird with broken wings who makes my heart bleed at an haemophiliac rate. He bought with him a bottle…
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And The Oscar For Mother Of Worst Toddler/Toddler Of Worst Mother Goes to…
Those photos of poor Charlize Theron trying to deal with her son’s tantrum in the full glare of the media made me wince painfully the other day. In a kind of sentimental way, really, because we’ve all been there, and they weren’t much fun when you’re a nobody from suburbia, let alone a Hollywood celebrity…
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We Need To Stop Deluding Our Kids That They Can Do Anything
Just about the only aspect of parenting the old man and I agree on is not to delude our children that they can do anything they want in life, in spite of that particular model of parenting being popular since the time we first had them. We’ve both made mistakes in our careers and got…
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30 Fascinating Things I Realised In 2015
Whenever I think I’ve finally reached rock bottom, I can always rely on my teenagers to up the ante. The word ‘meringue’ springs to mind whenever I wear a cream dress. I need stop at one whisky. All diets are lies. The upside to being ‘invisible’ is not giving a shit about what I look…
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Dining Out When You’re Trying To Eat Healthily
I’ve learned a lot about those sneaky hidden calories with my latest healthy-eating plan, and while I can manage to restrain myself – most of the time – on home territory, (apart from when it comes to homemade banana bread, which tests me on every level), it can be a very different story, when I eat…
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The 5 Ways I’m Restoring My Mental Health
Taking the ‘body’ theme a step further from my last post, I’ve been feeling a lot better in my body recently. And when I say ‘in my body’, what I’m really talking about, is in my head. This image came up under ‘positivity’… which is obviously why I used it…PHWOAR! But first of all, (and…
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How I Really Feel About My Fifty-Something Body
Do you think our mothers suffered from the same body image issues we do? I’m fairly certain that my mum was too busy surviving as a single, working mother in the sixties, to waste time worrying about the danger of her muffin top creeping out of the top of her jeans or if there was…
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Valentines Night With The FailArmy
One of Kurt’s greatest pleasures in life, apart from winding me up, is watching FailArmy videos on YouTube. These are videos of those idiots (usually men) that derive pleasure from doing wacky, dangerous stunts, the insanity of which more (often than not), land them in sticky situations, if not hospital. Typical stunts might include jumping…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 