Category: Ageing
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How The Conversation Changes With Middle Age
My pet peeve, aside from slow swimmers and water waders hogging up the fast lane at my local pool, is when I go to a dinner party and no-one asks me about my job… or indeed anything about me. This has happened throughout my adulthood, since the very first time I was invited to my…
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Concessions for Women
Hats off to Fu Yuanhui, the twenty-year old swimmer, for mentioning the P word at the Olympics. And I’m not talking about the P in Phelps. When asked how she felt after her race, she responded with: “My period came last night and I’m really tired right now … but this isn’t an excuse, I…
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Insomnia In Middle Age: Why Old People Have Separate Rooms
The old man predicts that we will be in separate rooms soon because of my snoring, but it’s far more likely to be due to our mismatched sleep patterns. One of the major and most debilitating symptoms of Menopause is insomnia. I REALLY need my sleep – ideally a solid twelve hours to feel human…
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Middle Age Is When You Finally Realize That You Shouldn’t Have To Chase True Friendship
I posted this quote on my Facebook page a few days ago. I realise that the words sound arrogant at first glance, as though I adhere to the belief that I can pick and choose the friends I want in my life – something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Nevertheless I like them,…
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Why Do Hangovers Have To Be So Much Worse In Middle Age?
I farewelled my drinking legs in style this weekend. But there are worst places than the Hunter Valley to find out that you’re a pussy. Not even the enticement of membership to my favourite winery, Scarborough Wines, a life-long ambition of mine, along with the purchase of twelve bottles of my favourite Chardonnay (now safely stashed…
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The Fall From Domestic Goddess To Domestic Grossness That Can Happen In Middle Age
Do you ever get those moments when your own domestic grubbiness grosses you the fuck out? I had one of those last night when I used the grill in the oven for the first time in months and there was that much smoke, I’m surprised the fire brigade didn’t turn up. It was a blinding…
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The Curse Of Anxiety, Dogs and Teenage Commitment
The dog has decided to upstage the rest of the family in the anxiety stakes. I am reliably informed that part of her condition can be blamed on her Poodle heritage, in which separation anxiety is a common issue, but the other part is either a question of osmosis ie. living with us, or a…
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Family, And being Shaped By The Good As Well As The Bad
It has become quite commonplace for many of us to blame the past for all our problems. Perhaps we know too much now. We know that trauma, if it isn’t dealt with properly, at the time, can leave a lasting trail of damage that affects the rest of our lives. There is some proof that…
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Farewell Dear Ovaries, You’ve Served Me Well
I went through this stage at the tail end of my forties where I had this recurring nightly dream that I was pregnant and something would always go wrong – not necessarily with the pregnancy, but either the old man would leave me, or the baby would turn out to be some animal or my…
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The Brazilian Conspiracy
I’ve always believed that there’s enough unwanted hair on women’s bodies to deal with at this stage of our lives, without us having to go through the pain and cost of getting our fannies waxed every few weeks. I think SOME body hair is attractive I reckon I could start a profitable business in wigs…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 