Category: body image
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Aqua Aerobics: Welcome To The Middle-Aged Club Of Fitness
Firstly, I believe that this is an appropriate opportunity for me to issue a formal apology to those women that do aqua-aerobics, that I may have slighted in the past with a secret snigger of immaturity as I swaggered past them, head held high, towards the fast lane of the pool. Because yesterday, I joined…
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Eyebrow Problems In Middle Age
I went through another of those middle-aged duty calls in order to meet the aesthetic expectations placed upon womankind the other day – the utter onerousness of a waxing session. I shouldn’t grumble really, hair-care it is the only beauty treatment I pay for to meet society’s expectations of beauty so that I don’t terrify…
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Middle Aged Clothes-Shopping Hell
Ahead of my birthday celebrations last weekend, I foolishly chose to waste a whole hour of my remaining lifetime on The Iconic, when I could have been catching up on The Bachelor and drooling over Matty J’s ass with NC. Needless, to say I drew a blank. Now I’m not going to bag the Iconic…
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Time to Tear Down Mia Freedman
I needed to write this piece in defense of Mia Freedman of Mamamia, because she has been an inspiration for my own writing. Whatever her detractors accuse her of in connection to the debacle yesterday with Roxane Gay, I refuse to accept that her intentions in her approach to their interview were anything but respectful…
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Health Anxiety And The Ability To Identify When There IS Something Actually Wrong
Even though I have a massive health anxiety issue and spend most of my day counting the different ways I will contract cancer on Dr. Google, I rarely go to the doctor. The good news about having a potentially broken finger means that I can give the old man the finger whenever he asks me…
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How The F*ck Am I A Size 16?
I know that we all have inherent body image issues to some degree, not aided by the pressure put on women, in particular, to squeeze into Barbie- sized clothes deemed acceptable by society due to the influence of the media – even though the average size in Australia is now a size 16. But I…
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Is It Middle-Aged Women That Are Invisible, Or Just Women In General?
There have been a couple of incidences lately that have got my tits in a twist about how invisible women become after the age of fifty – unless we go around waving a banner that says ‘Look at me, I’m here.’ Is It Middle-Aged Women That Are Invisible, Or Just Women In General? Sadly, it…
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Food Goals When You Work From Home
One of the main benefits to working from home, aside from the greater job security than that currently offered by the FBI, is the 24hr on-site cafeteria. I have instigated Google’s food policy in our house. They don’t allow their employees to be further than 200 feet from food at any time – a strategy…
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Why Is My Hair Thinning In Middle Age?
One of the greatest challenges in a woman’s life – apart from men – is to find the right hairdresser – someone who truly understands the fickleness of female hair. Once you discover your hairdresser, a bond of trust is formed that can be almost (if not more) precious than those you share with the…
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Middle-Age: The Best Way To Gain Kilos Without Really Trying
Do you, like me, sometimes look in the mirror and secretly wish you were larger? Are you disappointed when you can pinch less than an inch, or can’t find clothes that fit because you’re simply too small? Do you watch other women on the beach flaunting their curves and muffin tops, and imagine yourself in…
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When Will I Feel Grown Up Enough To Wear Grown-Up Clothes?
I know you’re probably thinking that this post is a replica of the one I wrote when I went through the trauma of finding a dress for my dad’s wedding earlier this year, but a second verbal vent is required after my most recent experience of trying to dress this sad, old middle-aged body. When…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 