Category: Lifestyle
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Christmas Day And Vodka Shots, Aussie-Style
It appears that all of those conversations I had with the kids before Christmas about WHAT NOT TO DO when Grandad is here, fell on deaf ears. They didn’t mention The Ashes, but when the middle-aged tribe is heavily outnumbered by Millennials, things don’t always go to plan – and just saying kids, Vodka is…
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Gardening in Australia, AKA Dancing With Death
With forty-eight hours and thirty minutes to go, no, I’m not the teeniest bit nervous about the arrival of the rellies for Christmas. While one half of me can’t wait to wrap myself up in dad’s arms again and beg him to take me home to let me be a child again, the other half…
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Prioritizing Your Fucks This Christmas
Don’t get me wrong, I BLOODY LOVE CHRISTMAS, but there are certain seasonal chores necessary for its success that have lost their appeal over time. I give you: Making your own mince pies, pudding, gravy, stuffing or bread sauce Cooking a whole turkey, as opposed to a super-processed crown from the supermarket where the birds…
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Millennial Sickness, Hypochondria and Snot Levels
There is something vaguely ironic about the recent discovery that Kurt is allergic to grass. After years of watching his eyes stream and his chest heave at certain times of the year – symptoms I originally put down to Karma for abusing his body, (because I’m compassionate like that), and the sad reality that none…
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Why Do Some People Make You Feel That Pursuing Your Dreams Is A Cop Out?
Currently, when I’m asked at social events ‘what I do’, I metamorphose back into a little girl, look down at the floor nervously and respond, usually in a pathetic whisper ‘I’m trying to write a book’ or ‘I’m trying to make a career out of writing’, then pray they don’t ask me about it. The…
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I Like To Think An Old Dog Can Learn New Tricks…
However… every trip out of the home these days seems to involve some shaming new public lesson in technology that highlights my mom-ness and has zero human interaction or support. I pity the really old people who used to see a trip to the shops as the one chance in their day for conversation. I think…
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How Much Do You Drink?
That’s the question that makes you cross your legs in shame in middle-age, similar in awkwardness to when the doctor used to ask you how much you smoked or how often you have sex, or (more pertinent these days) when was your last mammogram? Fact: every smoker lies. The ‘walk of shame’ these days is…
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Fairly Standard Share House Behavior
We suspected that the old-fashioned water tank in the new house might prove a problem. With two twenty-somethings that think that fifteen-minute long showers are normal because they are used to a water-on-demand system, it was never going to be an easy task to educate them in the consideration of others. You’re welcome! I’ve decided…
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Things I’m Too Old For – Music Gigs
This post is the first in a new series called “Things I’m Too Old for;” an idea I came up with the other night when we went into the city to watch a gig roughly two nights before we moved house – cos that’s what you do when you’re about to experience one of the…
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Creativity Is Open To Interpretation
Creativity is open to interpretation, and nowhere is that more obvious than in the world of modern art. Now, I’ll admit that I know zilch about art, apart from what I like and what I don’t like, like the majority of people. I stand in front of a canvas and for the most part, I…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 