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Eating And Drinking Healthily In Middle Age To Maintain Your Body Weight
I’ve written a lot of posts about this topic in the past because let’s face it, girls, on a scale of stuff that still turns us on in middle age, (where sex with our husbands/partners is at one), food has to be at least a ten. The struggle is real. And to my horror, I recently…
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The Curious Incident Of The Dog With The Pooey Ass
The Princess Spoodle’s birthday didn’t start well today. While the old man was out playing tennis, she had one of those unfortunate incidents of a sticky dingleberry stuck to her nether regions – a mortifying turn of events to a dog of her breeding with associated sensitivities. It’s one of those situations that any parent…
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The Prodigal Daughter Is Not Coming Home For Australia Day, She’s Coming To See Us
The prodigal daughter returns this weekend for the first time since she left the nest. While she assures me that she won’t be celebrating Australia Day for political reasons, I’ll believe that when she turns down the special bottle of Champers I’ve bought for tomorrow. Although I only saw her a few days ago, it…
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Hiking, And How To Unhinge An Already Rocky Marriage
It may surprise you to know that the old man and I are not adventurers. We will never jump out of a plane, never consider it personally fulfilling to scale the Himalayas or even camp locally, so it was with some trepidation that we set off on an adventure last weekend. My arty shots –…
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To Be Loved In Death As In Life Is All Any Of Us Can Really Hope For
I lost an uncle over Christmas. And as I write this post, an aunt lies in a hospital bed somewhere in the UK in a medically life-changing situation. Both events have been a sharp reminder that the wheels of time stop for no-one. In words that echo the theme tune of Love Actually – sort of…
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My Virtual Affair With Jon Hamm And Those Rumors
Some of you might prefer to forget the post I wrote about my sex dream with our prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull – and if not, here’s a reminder. It was one of those bizarre dreams that must have been instigated by medication or alcohol, or a mix of the two. And while some of you tried…
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When You Kid Yourself That One Night At The Opera Makes You Cultured
I had steak tonight. It was one of those spontaneous decisions brought on by the anxiety that we’re all going to die soon and I might never taste steak again because I rarely eat red meat these days. I am one of those people that get sucked into the latest health advice about what you…
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How Do We Educate Our Kids About Sexual Harassment?
I posted this meme on my Facebook page a couple of days ago, and the response to it gave me a thought-provoking insight into the problem of how we educate our kids about sexual harassment and inequality. As a feminist, a woman that wants equality across the board, (and not a bra-burning man-hater, of which…
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Teaching Your Kids The Value Of Money, Hard Work And How Boring It Is To Adult
My father returned to Sydney for the Ashes and took the whole family out to dinner the other night – as in, he paid for all of us, naively telling us that he was going to BEFORE we had ordered from the menu. Like kids in a candy store My kids aren’t used to a…
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Fuck Holidays and Resolutions And Bring Back Routine
Michael Buble took us into Christmas again this year, so I’m going to allow him to take us back out gently and buoy you with optimism for the year ahead with his classic rendition of ‘Feeling Good.’ There was something very anally fulfilling about creating my new January 2018 folder for this month’s blog posts…
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Can I Please Stop Drinking Now?
We’re drawing to the end of those tricky days between Christmas and New Year, where no one really knows what the fuck to do with themselves apart from drink alcohol at odd times of the day and gorge on left-overs. It has been stinky-hot here in Sydney, but at least we’ve had the coolness of the ocean to cure…
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Christmas Day And Vodka Shots, Aussie-Style
It appears that all of those conversations I had with the kids before Christmas about WHAT NOT TO DO when Grandad is here, fell on deaf ears. They didn’t mention The Ashes, but when the middle-aged tribe is heavily outnumbered by Millennials, things don’t always go to plan – and just saying kids, Vodka is…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 