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I Should Have Packed The Wine
‘You’re the one that I want…’ the old man sang to me when I got up this morning. A sincere effort, I believe, to calm the storms that have inevitably begun to build up as we get ready to move. He’s been in a suspiciously good mood all week which he has tried to disguise…
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Those ‘What’s It All About?’ Moments
I’ve been having a lot of those ‘what’s it all about?’ moments recently. I changed my medication recently so it could be that, or simply a residual post-sickness tiredness that has sapped me of the energy to exercise, socialise and get out of my yoga pants. Then again it’s probably the hormones, the tail end…
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Moving House Again
We’re on the move again. Or perhaps we’re running away. We do this a lot as the relationships in our family, that now comprises of four adults, continue to evolve. The average age for kids to leave home is now 27 due to rising house prices, as opposed to 21 in the past, so I…
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The Hardest Part Of Parenting Is Agreeing How To Parent
When we were in London a few months ago, we listened to LBC, a talk radio station where current news topics are raised and listeners call in to voice their opinions. One of the topics was about the LGBT community and how universities are providing halls of residence strictly for LGBT students in a bid…
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Anxiety, Hope and Earning The Olympic Gold For Worrying
If they handed out an Olympic Gold for worrying, I’d get it. I’ve skirted around the void of depression many times, when my anxiety has gnawed away at me like some flesh-eating bacteria, so close to the bone that I’ve felt like it was all too much. Unlike many people out there who wax lyrical…
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The Eternal Quest For Love
‘Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for’. Bob Marley It would make life so much easier if we, like the simplest animal forms with little intelligence, only had to mate for the sake of procreation, and feelings couldn’t complicate the process. Wouldn’t it? Wary applause…
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Can Women Get Man Flu?
Can it really only be a week or so ago that I was bragging to a client about how I never get colds since I’ve lived in Sydney? Yet here I am, on my third day in bed. I take full responsibility for this Karma because someone, somewhere, must have heard me when I wished…
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The Cathartic Effect Of The Girls Night
A girls night was exactly what I needed last weekend, even when a sore throat threatened to spoil my “old man-free” weekend and several new series on Netflix teased me tantalisingly right up until that first sip of Sparkly. When you get out of practice and fall down the dark hole of giving zero fucks…
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The 16 Best Comments To Get Out Of Sex When You’re Middle-Aged And Can’t Be Bothered
I know you hate me talking about sex, but here’s a bit of frivolity for the weekend… ‘Remind me where the dog goes?’ ‘But it’s after 9 O’clock!’ 3.‘I’ve got this new pair of support knickers you’re gonna love…’ 4.The problem with peri-menopause is that you just never know when your period’s …
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Middle Aged Hair And Bad Grey Days
When I part my hair in a section that falls outside of the eight-weekly dye zone, I’ve noticed some ominous course grey hairs sprouting through. Do you ever wonder how they grow so goddamn quickly before you get the chance to ambush them? I haven’t been too concerned about this tell-tale sign of ageing before,…
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Australian Survives Horror Jelly Fish Attack In Italy
One of the gnawing fears you have when you make the decision to migrate to another country is that your children may respond to the beckoning call of the homeland once they are old enough to decide where they want to live. That worry has been brought home to me over the past few weeks…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 