Category: Health
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When Your Child Has Mental Health Issues and You Want To Use The Get Out Of Jail Card
I’m tired of this particular journey. Self-absorbed I know, but there I said it. No “parent of the year” award for me; I’m the parent who loves her child but is tired of this arduous journey at his side. I’m tired of not sleeping, the stomach pains, the disagreements about the best way to raise…
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The Fall From Domestic Goddess To Domestic Grossness That Can Happen In Middle Age
Do you ever get those moments when your own domestic grubbiness grosses you the fuck out? I had one of those last night when I used the grill in the oven for the first time in months and there was that much smoke, I’m surprised the fire brigade didn’t turn up. It was a blinding…
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Farewell Dear Ovaries, You’ve Served Me Well
I went through this stage at the tail end of my forties where I had this recurring nightly dream that I was pregnant and something would always go wrong – not necessarily with the pregnancy, but either the old man would leave me, or the baby would turn out to be some animal or my…
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The Brazilian Conspiracy
I’ve always believed that there’s enough unwanted hair on women’s bodies to deal with at this stage of our lives, without us having to go through the pain and cost of getting our fannies waxed every few weeks. I think SOME body hair is attractive I reckon I could start a profitable business in wigs…
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Why I Blog…
I had the chance to speak at a local library event recently about blogging, using this blog as my example. It had little to do with talent or notability, more an obvious case of nepotism as one of my close friends is a librarian there, but we all have to start somewhere. One of the…
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Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
Picture the scene. I’m at the local pool, in the fast lane even though I know that I have no right to be there after two weeks of culinary debauchery and enough alcohol in my body to pickle every organ, but I don’t feel too guilty because there’s some cheeky geriatric in there, too, and…
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Death By Probiotic: Not How I Imagined I Would Go
It would be highly ironic if I were to finally meet my maker from choking on a probiotic. But that is something that very nearly happened on the day of my father’s wedding. Death by bacteria I’ve considered my death a lot over this past few weeks, thanks to my old friend ‘anxiety’ doing his…
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Man Spreading, Bread Rolls And Lesbian Sex: The First World Issues Of The Global Traveller
I’ve moaned before about the Everest of all tortures; that is the twenty-four hour long-haul flight from Sydney to London. One that rivals any agony ever to be invented for breaking terrorists by the Americans at Guantanamo Bay. Well, somehow we survived it. Unlike childbirth, it’s not so easy to forget every moment spent gritting…
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The Secret To Combatting Tiredness In Menopause
I’ve always loved my sleep, but this past year I’ve superseded all previous records for just how much I can sleep and how often. We all know that the excuse to ‘nap’ is one of the biggest benefits of ageing for both men and women, but when you sleep for ten hours or more a…
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The Best 28 Reasons To Leave Town When Teenage Boys Are On School Holidays
1.It will rain. 2.Because it will rain, the lingering smell of boy germs will be impossible to eradicate because teenage boys don’t process the word ‘deodorant’. Occasionally, this odour is diluted by what you swear is the smell of illicit smoking from out of their bedroom window. 3.First trip to the ER – when son’s…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 