Category: love
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The Prodigal Daughter Is Not Coming Home For Australia Day, She’s Coming To See Us
The prodigal daughter returns this weekend for the first time since she left the nest. While she assures me that she won’t be celebrating Australia Day for political reasons, I’ll believe that when she turns down the special bottle of Champers I’ve bought for tomorrow. Although I only saw her a few days ago, it…
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To Be Loved In Death As In Life Is All Any Of Us Can Really Hope For
I lost an uncle over Christmas. And as I write this post, an aunt lies in a hospital bed somewhere in the UK in a medically life-changing situation. Both events have been a sharp reminder that the wheels of time stop for no-one. In words that echo the theme tune of Love Actually – sort of…
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My Virtual Affair With Jon Hamm And Those Rumors
Some of you might prefer to forget the post I wrote about my sex dream with our prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull – and if not, here’s a reminder. It was one of those bizarre dreams that must have been instigated by medication or alcohol, or a mix of the two. And while some of you tried…
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Heghan – There’s Something About Harry
I failed miserably to maintain the cynicism of my Royal Grinchness as I watched the Harry/Meghan engagement interview yesterday, although it is irritating how difficult it is to turn their names into some catchy moniker such as Kimye or Brangelina, which is why I’ve decided on Heghan. My apologies – I’ve used this phot before.…
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And On The Topic Of Self-love And Acceptance…
And while I’m on the topic of self-love and acceptance… Cue kaftan, joss sticks and Hare Krishna chanting… That trip to the movies symbolized the start of a new chapter for me this week – a chapter I like to call “thinking about myself for a fucking change” – not to be confused with the…
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Maudie, Self-Care and The Simplicity of Love
One pearl of wisdom you finally discover in middle age is the answer to that all-consuming question of “what the fuck is it all about?”. And that it is “love”, of course. And trust me, you couldn’t find a better demonstration of that than the movie I saw yesterday when Louisa-No-Mates dragged herself along to…
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My Seven Secrets To A Lasting Marriage
Apparently, marriage is back in fashion and as it was our anniversary yesterday – hence, that time of the year where I selflessly dedicate twenty-four hours of my time to be nice to my husband in return for a slap-up meal – I’ve decided to share the reasons behind our unmitigated happiness and unbridled passion.…
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Bumbling My Way Through My First Dating Site
It is perhaps a sign of my increasing immaturity that one of the most exciting things I’ve done recently was to scroll through “Bumble” with my daughter. I still feel slightly miffed that I missed out on a way to date without having to leave the house. For those of you unfamiliar with Bumble, it…
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A (Sort of) Birth Story For Easter
I’ve been caught up in between worlds these last few weeks – the worlds of back pain, Easter chocolate and that of my characters, as I put my final touches to my manuscript. I’m not the best multi-tasker, so I find it difficult to tackle other writing projects when I’m so invested in these four…
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Are Separate Bedrooms The Beginning Of The End?
So the old man has finally committed to the purchase of a bed for his study. Not, as I originally suspected, for those afternoon naps we all know he has when he pretends to be working, but somewhere to migrate to in the early hours of the morning when the snoring Olympics begin, of which…
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The Secret To Long-Term Relationships
If I could seriously answer this, I’d be a millionaire by now. Nice pic, but like it would ever happen in our relationship! Either I would fall off or the old man would keep moaning about how my weight made it impossible for him to pedal until we had a fight. But… You do get to…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 