Category: Motherhood
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And The Oscar For Mother Of Worst Toddler/Toddler Of Worst Mother Goes to…
Those photos of poor Charlize Theron trying to deal with her son’s tantrum in the full glare of the media made me wince painfully the other day. In a kind of sentimental way, really, because we’ve all been there, and they weren’t much fun when you’re a nobody from suburbia, let alone a Hollywood celebrity…
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We Need To Stop Deluding Our Kids That They Can Do Anything
Just about the only aspect of parenting the old man and I agree on is not to delude our children that they can do anything they want in life, in spite of that particular model of parenting being popular since the time we first had them. We’ve both made mistakes in our careers and got…
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30 Fascinating Things I Realised In 2015
Whenever I think I’ve finally reached rock bottom, I can always rely on my teenagers to up the ante. The word ‘meringue’ springs to mind whenever I wear a cream dress. I need stop at one whisky. All diets are lies. The upside to being ‘invisible’ is not giving a shit about what I look…
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Living Each Day And Surviving Every Parent’s Worst Nightmare
The most annoying thing about being the mother of a rebellious eighteen-year old is that you can’t always ensure they go out in their best underwear. That was one of the things that went through my mind on Thursday as we wove our way through city traffic to every parent’s worst nightmare… After the call…to say…
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Remember The School Gates? Getting Old Isn’t All Bad
A friend recently wrote to me about how old she feels each time she passes the primary school our children attended and sees all the young, hip mums hanging outside the school gates. Being a mum in the playground is personally one of my least favourite periods of parenthood to reminisce about; post-traumatic memories of…
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Mental Illness: Crazy, Bad or Misunderstood
How did you spend your Sunday afternoon? I spent mine mine devouring a riveting series that I missed on the ABC last year about a mental health hospital in Sydney. That’s just the kind fun person I am. But what’s interesting, is where once the subject of mental illness was a taboo one, locked firmly…
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A New Year Of Parenting
And so another year of parenting has come around to challenge and age us prematurely. For those with ickle children, I hate to burst your bubble but nothing changes in the worrying stakes as your children get older. Just another reason it felt so fucking awesome to see that even Madonna can’t get parenting right. …
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2016 Will Be About Me
I’ve decided that New Year’s resolutions are just so 2015. Ambition Key On Keyboard Meaning Target Aim Or Goal Have you noticed how women often link theirs to self-improvement rather than ambition? How we focus on the stuff we don’t do well? Probably because we are continually reminded that we are not perfect. And I’m…
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The Question That Divides A Nation of Parents Of Teenagers
A lot has changed over the past thirty years in terms of what teenagers can and cannot do. happy young couple in bed at morning But nothing sets the cat quite as freely among the pigeons as the question of where parents stand on sleeping arrangements and privileges in the homestead, once teenagers enter into…
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How A Small Part Of You Celebrates When A Friend Fails At Parenting, Too
Just as a small part of you dies when a friend succeeds, (according to Gore Vidal), a small part of me celebrates triumphantly when a friend fails spectacularly at parenting, like I have so many times. Do you know what has truly kept me sane through all these troubled ‘Kurt years’? It’s the support of…
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Dressing The Christmas Tree, With A Little Help From Captain Morgan
After twenty-one years of being forced to compromise my artistry and stem my superior creativity when I am forced to dress the Christmas tree with the kids, I’ve finally found the solution of how not to give a shit. Decorating A Christmas Tree With Tinsel, Balls And A Ribbon Drink copious amounts of Captain Morgan…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 