Category: relationships
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The Cathartic Effect Of The Girls Night
A girls night was exactly what I needed last weekend, even when a sore throat threatened to spoil my “old man-free” weekend and several new series on Netflix teased me tantalisingly right up until that first sip of Sparkly. When you get out of practice and fall down the dark hole of giving zero fucks…
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The 16 Best Comments To Get Out Of Sex When You’re Middle-Aged And Can’t Be Bothered
I know you hate me talking about sex, but here’s a bit of frivolity for the weekend… ‘Remind me where the dog goes?’ ‘But it’s after 9 O’clock!’ 3.‘I’ve got this new pair of support knickers you’re gonna love…’ 4.The problem with peri-menopause is that you just never know when your period’s …
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Insomnia In Middle Age: Why Old People Have Separate Rooms
The old man predicts that we will be in separate rooms soon because of my snoring, but it’s far more likely to be due to our mismatched sleep patterns. One of the major and most debilitating symptoms of Menopause is insomnia. I REALLY need my sleep – ideally a solid twelve hours to feel human…
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Middle Age Is When You Finally Realize That You Shouldn’t Have To Chase True Friendship
I posted this quote on my Facebook page a few days ago. I realise that the words sound arrogant at first glance, as though I adhere to the belief that I can pick and choose the friends I want in my life – something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Nevertheless I like them,…
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Pippa Middleton Doesn’t Need A Man To Define Her
I’m so relieved that Pippa Middleton finally found a gorgeous, generous man who took pity on her, pulled her off the shelf and played with her like some old raggedy doll from Play School. She has finally been defined as a person. And she’s in her thirties, after all, so phew! how lucky was she…
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Talking Publicly About Trauma
Anna Spargo Ryan has written a riveting and widely appraised book called The Paper House, and I’m thrilled for her success (if not a bit jelly) because I’ve followed Anna on Twitter for a few years. She is intelligent, witty and an advocate for mental illness awareness and I was particularly keen to read her…
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The Secret To Long Relationships
I was bemoaning the fact that breakfast is my most disappointing meal of the day with the old man the other day, and he responded with ‘that’s because it’s the only meal you can’t justify having wine with.’ ‘True dat,’ as our son Kurt would say. Equally, our marriage might be more pleasurable if I…
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The Curse Of Anxiety, Dogs and Teenage Commitment
The dog has decided to upstage the rest of the family in the anxiety stakes. I am reliably informed that part of her condition can be blamed on her Poodle heritage, in which separation anxiety is a common issue, but the other part is either a question of osmosis ie. living with us, or a…
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Family, And being Shaped By The Good As Well As The Bad
It has become quite commonplace for many of us to blame the past for all our problems. Perhaps we know too much now. We know that trauma, if it isn’t dealt with properly, at the time, can leave a lasting trail of damage that affects the rest of our lives. There is some proof that…
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14 Ways To Achieve Fuck All On A Rainy Day
You might have gathered from the news that it’s been raining kangaroos and funnel web spiders here in Australia over the past few days. There’s this giant myth around the rest of the world that it’s sunny all year around here, and if you live in states of the country fortunate to have crocs and…
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Family: You Can Run But You Can’t Hide
From what I understand, one of the few benefits of divorce is that you occasionally get a break from the kids. One of the benefits of migration is that you get to keep the day-to-day responsibilities of being part of a dysfunctional family at arms length. Family and ‘home’ In spite of the logistics, my…
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The Male Short Term Memory Issue: A Valid Reason To Nag
You’ll be aware by now that I’m a fervent believer in gender equality and the old man and I have heated discussions on the subject most weeks over a bottle or three of wine. And the one area in our discussions where he really gets to me is when he argues that because women don’t…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 