Category: Beauty
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My Top 35 Rules For A Happy Life
This list felt particularly poignant last week, the night before we boarded our first flight without our children, when I was as anxious AF about leaving my ‘babies’ behind. However, (and before I’m reported to Child Services), let me reassure you that our ‘babies’ are eighteen and twenty-one respectively, but if perchance I do bump…
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Finding The Perfect Cocktail Dress At Fifty
Exciting! I remember thinking facetiously as I ripped open the invitation to my father’s third wedding, which takes place in London this week – (hence journey from hell mentioned in previous post) – unable to repress the feeling of being every inch the middle-aged Cinderella, when it dawned on me I’d need a dress. Eat your…
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Style SOS: Can I Still Wear Leather Now I’m Middle-Aged?
For all this newfound confidence in my middle-aged style, (here), as NC often reminds me, (because one of the reasons God gifts us intelligent adult daughters is for them to consistently rip us apart by reminding us about our failings), occasionally I’ve come a cropper with my style evolution/revolution. Sandy from Grease, anyone? At the…
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Turning Middle-Aged Invisibility On Its Head
It seems ironic that at this time of my life, when I have the greatest confidence in who I am, society is trying to write me off. Unfair that this game change should come at the same time as my kids finally need less of me, and I have more time to develop my own interests, evolve…
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Help! When Your Fashion Sense Screams You’re Middle-Aged
According to this hugely influential source, 10 Things Style Errors That Make You Look Older, the common woollen cardie is ageing on middle-aged women; which means I instantly lose all my middle-aged fashionista credentials. Matrix cardie – Ha! Bloody Ha! Because I love me a nice cardie. If Madonna needs to wear a cardie to show…
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Shopping, Friendship and Embracing Your New Middle Aged Body
I am usually a lone shopper. I take my shopping habit very seriously and can quite easily waste an entire Saturday trying out new styles that I would never actually buy in a million years. I enjoy the beauty and creativity behind beautiful clothes, fabrics and home accessories – I like looking at them, touching…
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Can I Body-Shame All Middle Aged Men Who Wear Speedos?
There is this bizarre conspiracy in Australia where middle-aged men, no matter what the size of their girth or tackle, believe they can wear Speedos in public and remain beyond reproach. Middle-aged women on the other hand, are demonised if they dare squeeze their middle-aged frames into a bikini. I might question the style and…
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30 Fascinating Things I Realised In 2015
Whenever I think I’ve finally reached rock bottom, I can always rely on my teenagers to up the ante. The word ‘meringue’ springs to mind whenever I wear a cream dress. I need stop at one whisky. All diets are lies. The upside to being ‘invisible’ is not giving a shit about what I look…
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How I Really Feel About My Fifty-Something Body
Do you think our mothers suffered from the same body image issues we do? I’m fairly certain that my mum was too busy surviving as a single, working mother in the sixties, to waste time worrying about the danger of her muffin top creeping out of the top of her jeans or if there was…
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Susan Sarandon’s Lovely Lady Lumps
Shock! Horror! A woman ‘over a certain age’ dared to brazenly display her cleavage in public. Apparently, this is far more controversial news than ISIL’s latest terrorism threats, because it’s not even like Susan Sarandon is some cheap B List celebrity that needs the publicity. Liberated mammaries are usually celebrated. They usually serve the purpose…
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When You Can’t Be Fucked To Cook Quinoa…Keep It Simple
I giggled evilly behind my laptop screen last night as I listened to the old man have a domestic melt down in the kitchen over cooking. Apparently, he finds cooking stressful. I’ve already got that tee-shirt, so felt little empathy. Admittedly, we’re not the easiest family to plan meals for. I’m always on the latest…
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Massage And The Price Of Beauty
With so much festive fun going on recently, I never got the chance to tell you about the best bits of our family holiday before Christmas. How I thought I’d look on the massage table… Being a ‘family holiday’, it obviously wasn’t going to be a moment that involved the family. No, the real standout…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 