Category: Menopause
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Why Try Mindfulness In Middle Age? Because That’s When You Realise Just How Fucked Up The Worl
I took an introductory course in mindfulness a few weeks ago. I thought that the company of calm, spiritual people would wield its inner peace on me. But when it turned out that only my friends had signed up for the course, I realised something I already knew – that we’re all dealing with our…
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Bad Dreams? I Blame Anxiety
Photo by Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho on Unsplash Of course, sleeping in the garden might be my problem and I could simply invest in a bed. I used to have this theory about dreaming, which was that only creative, imaginative people had them. I admit that this conclusion was drawn from the fact that the old man doesn’t dream.…
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Can I Suggest Eating Mindfully This Christmas Rather Than Dieting?
Let’s make a pact and enforce a community embargo against dieting this Christmas. I won’t be dieting. In fact, I will be eating all of the pigs-in-blanket, swigging the whole jug of brandy custard, and scoffing every one of the purple Quality Street! In Joanna Nell’s book, The Single Ladies Of Jacaranda Village, her doctor…
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15 Things Every Middle-Aged Woman Needs In Her Handbag
Panty liners and wet wipes – for when you sneeze, cough, laugh or have to jump on a trampoline to pretend you like little kids (and trampolines) at a family kid’s party. Thick foundation – to cover those break-outs of middle-aged acne or Rosacea triggered by all that intense red wine drinking exercise you’ve done…
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Menopausal Mood Swings And Not Turning Into “That” Couple
There are weeks when we reach for the bikini briefs from our underwear drawer each morning, and others when we choose the big girl panties. There are weeks when we stop at the second cookie, and others when we devour the packet. Life can be like that; a rollercoaster of emotions and ups and downs,…
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In The End, We’re All Just Human Beans
I had my second day-surgery last week; a procedure called an Endometrial Ablation, and the medical profession’s latest attempt to stop my uterus from going all Tarantino on me each month. For any of you middle-aged women out there still suffering a Red Wedding-style of monthly – I’ll let you know if it works. In the…
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What Happened To The Fearlessness Of My Youth?
It is no secret that anxiety can be linked to menopause, and for some women, the condition can be so bad, it forces them to turn to anti-depressants to get through it. According to Medical News Today: ‘Hormone changes, life stresses, sleep problems, worries about body image, infertility, boring marriages and aging are all factors…
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Hiking, And How To Unhinge An Already Rocky Marriage
It may surprise you to know that the old man and I are not adventurers. We will never jump out of a plane, never consider it personally fulfilling to scale the Himalayas or even camp locally, so it was with some trepidation that we set off on an adventure last weekend. My arty shots –…
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Help! I Had A Sex Dream About Malcolm Turnbull
I had a sex dream about our Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull the other night, which was particularly disappointing having forked out twenty dollars that afternoon to ogle see Chris Hemsworth in the latest Thor movie. For those of my international readers who don’t follow Australian politics religiously, and haven’t a clue what an understated sex…
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The Link Between Insomnia In Middle Age And The Boomerang Generation
Biologically-speaking, there is a proven link between sleep problems, peri-menopause, and menopause. It has something to do with the dying noises created by your ovaries, dreams, and looks as they wither, and a lot to do with how much you hate the person sleeping next to you. However, my own research lists other contributing factors,…
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The Perils Of Moving House
NC was super helpful on the day It is somewhat ironic that after weeks of persuading Kurt to allow us to buy him a bed base for his mattress so that our house no longer resembles a student house, our own base refused to bend those extra ten degrees necessary to get it up the stairs…
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Feeling Grateful…Until Your Husband Fucks Up Again
You can usually count on the old man to turn a drama into a crisis. I went into day surgery for a minor gyny procedure today. I won’t scare away my few male followers by sharing the intricate, gory details of the investigative procedure into the over-chartered territories of my almost-defunct uterus, but suffice it…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 