Category: Women
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Pippa Middleton Doesn’t Need A Man To Define Her
I’m so relieved that Pippa Middleton finally found a gorgeous, generous man who took pity on her, pulled her off the shelf and played with her like some old raggedy doll from Play School. She has finally been defined as a person. And she’s in her thirties, after all, so phew! how lucky was she…
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Women + Shopping = Happiness
Look how happy this woman looks! I had a bit of a shite week last week and needed some release, so I decided to go shopping. It’s not something I like to admit to – needing to spend money to feel happy – because I’m sure it undermines my intelligence and makes me sound likes…
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Family, And being Shaped By The Good As Well As The Bad
It has become quite commonplace for many of us to blame the past for all our problems. Perhaps we know too much now. We know that trauma, if it isn’t dealt with properly, at the time, can leave a lasting trail of damage that affects the rest of our lives. There is some proof that…
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Farewell Dear Ovaries, You’ve Served Me Well
I went through this stage at the tail end of my forties where I had this recurring nightly dream that I was pregnant and something would always go wrong – not necessarily with the pregnancy, but either the old man would leave me, or the baby would turn out to be some animal or my…
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The Brazilian Conspiracy
I’ve always believed that there’s enough unwanted hair on women’s bodies to deal with at this stage of our lives, without us having to go through the pain and cost of getting our fannies waxed every few weeks. I think SOME body hair is attractive I reckon I could start a profitable business in wigs…
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There Are Two Sides To Every Victim Story
What a sad week it has been in the news; a week when the adage that there are two sides to every story has never rung more true. There’s not a lot I can add to the extensive debate surrounding the Depp/Heard story, but when I began this post, soon after the news first hit…
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Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
Picture the scene. I’m at the local pool, in the fast lane even though I know that I have no right to be there after two weeks of culinary debauchery and enough alcohol in my body to pickle every organ, but I don’t feel too guilty because there’s some cheeky geriatric in there, too, and…
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Finding The Perfect Cocktail Dress At Fifty
Exciting! I remember thinking facetiously as I ripped open the invitation to my father’s third wedding, which takes place in London this week – (hence journey from hell mentioned in previous post) – unable to repress the feeling of being every inch the middle-aged Cinderella, when it dawned on me I’d need a dress. Eat your…
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Style SOS: Can I Still Wear Leather Now I’m Middle-Aged?
For all this newfound confidence in my middle-aged style, (here), as NC often reminds me, (because one of the reasons God gifts us intelligent adult daughters is for them to consistently rip us apart by reminding us about our failings), occasionally I’ve come a cropper with my style evolution/revolution. Sandy from Grease, anyone? At the…
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Turning Middle-Aged Invisibility On Its Head
It seems ironic that at this time of my life, when I have the greatest confidence in who I am, society is trying to write me off. Unfair that this game change should come at the same time as my kids finally need less of me, and I have more time to develop my own interests, evolve…
LOUISA SIMMONDS 